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Shame Vs Guilt

Shame Vs Guilt

Shame is different than guilt. Guilt is the feeling we get when we do something bad, something we know is wrong. It’s something we can fix by doing better next time. We can give ourselves another chance. Shame is much more diabolical. Shame makes us feel not that we did something bad, but that we are something bad. Instead of feeling like we did something wrong, we feel like we are something wrong.

Shame is like a little piece of cheese hidden deep down inside us in a crevice that is difficult to find and hard to reach. 


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The Memory Remains

The Memory Remains

But just because we’ve found the stinky cheese and cleaned it doesn’t mean we’re free of it. That smell was with us a long time, and the feelings it caused will always be with us. The goal of therapy is to become aware of these feelings and learn to accept them but not let them dictate our lives....


12 reads

The Root Cause Of Mental Issues: Shame

The Root Cause Of Mental Issues: Shame

Shame lies at the heart of many of the issues that bring people to therapy. The dictionary definition of shame is “a painful feeling of humiliation or distress cau...


19 reads

Early Shame Experiences

Early Shame Experiences

Shame starts early.

Each experience of shame is like hiding little pieces of stinky cheese deep in the consciousness of our true selves. The cheese of shame is always there, slowly rotting, and smelling worse and worse over time. The irony is, even though this shame smell i...


13 reads

Only We Know Our Cheesy Smell Of Shame

Only We Know Our Cheesy Smell Of Shame

People around us, friends, family, and loved ones don’t smell the cheese anymore. In fact, we might do such a good job searching for the cheese, examining the cheese, talking about the cheese, we might emotionally clean the cheese smell out completely. But the truth is, the smell will always ling...


12 reads

Making Cosmetic Changes To Clean The Inner Shame

Times when we feel like we stink, and that other people can smell this, and that other people will know we stink and think less of us, that people in our lives that we love will think we are bad people because we smell. We explore the shameful feelings, and through that process we are able to fin...


12 reads

How Shame Stays With Us

How Shame Stays With Us

  • Shame can be so ingrained in our lives from an early age that we don’t appreciate how powerfully it affects us in the present.
  • The “cheese” of shame is always there, slowly rotting, and smelling worse and worse over time.
  • Even after shame is addressed, the memory of its “smel...


26 reads




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Guilt and Shame Defined

Guilt and Shame Defined

  • Guilt is defined as an emotional state that appears when we feel we have failed to live up to the morals of ourselves or others.
  • Shame is defined as an intense feeling about the self that comes from failing to live up to your own or others' standards.

Shame And Guilt

  • Guilt is related to shame but is easier to rectify, as we focus our attention on the other person and apologize, accepting responsibility.
  • Shame is an inward emotion that makes us view our entire self in a bad light, with us getting punished by our conscience.
  • Guilt is act...

Guilt vs shame

Guilt is a private feeling of regret about something you did, and the discomfort leads to self-regulation regardless of exposure.

Shaming is about the possibility of being exposed to an audience.

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