<ul><li>This is the voice that settles for mediocrity, and which sees life as a sad collection of misfortunes, with a few laughs if you’re lucky.</li><li>The source of this self-loathing is, in some ways, the Secret Enemy. The more preoccupied we are with ourselves, the more we obsess over private happiness.</li></ul>

The Super-Secret Enemy

There are Four Enemies that are obstacles to a happy, fulfilled life. One is visible. The other three concern our feelings and our tendency to self-obsess. The answer to all is found in love. Love is a hugely powerful tool, but it's more complicated than we might suppose.

The Premise

<ul><li>These are the "people, institutions, and situations that mean to harm us"</li><li>They are the partner who cheated on you, the boss who gave you a warning, or the rain that soaked you to the skin.</li><li>When dealing with all manifestations of the Outer Enemy, the advice is an old one: love them, and meet hate with love, and enmity with kindness.</li></ul>

Enemy 1: The Outer Enemy

<ul><li>Anger, hatred, and fear are those emotions that poison our soul.</li><li>There are three forms of patience: tolerant, insightful, and forgiving.</li><li>Patience is recognizing the capacity that we all have to just grin and bear it, and appreciating how resilient you are.</li><li>Forgiving patience is to forgive anyone who harms us, no matter in what way.</li></ul>

Enemy 2: The Inner Enemy

<ul><li>Our inner voice defines how we orient ourselves to the world.</li><li>Those who are self-centered experience a "subjective fluctuating happiness," while those who are more selfless experience "authentic-durable happiness," which means a deep "contentment and plenitude or inner peace."</li></ul>

Enemy 3: The Secret Enemy

Love is the single panacea for all four enemies: it wants what is best for others, and so defuses the Outer Enemy, love is what forgives and accepts and serves as the antithesis of the Inner Enemy: anger, hatred, and fear, love sees others not in terms of what they can do for you but from their point of view, and helps and supports others, which undoes the Super-Secret Enemy