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How to Use "Solomon's Paradox" to Make Better Decisions

Get some Distance

Our emotions take precedence in our own problems due to our narrow viewpoint.

If we imagine that instead of us, it's someone else whom we are advising, we may have a more objective suggestion.
Talking to yourself in the third person also puts us in a witnessing mode.

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How to Know if You've Married the Wrong Person

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greatergood.berkeley.edu

When my first marriage failed, I wanted desperately to fall in love and start again. I wanted to show my princess-obsessed little girls that lasting love was possible; that their romantic dreams could come true. That my romantic dreams could come true.

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The faulty logic

We usually consider moving into marriage in an attempt to preserve and prolong the happy romantic feelings that characterize the early stages of almost all relationships.
But in most cases, there is no real connection between those feelings and the institution of marriage: marriage tends to move us onto a more administrative plane.

Unrealistic expectations

The gap between expectation and reality is the cause for many of life’s disappointments.
We like to create detailed fantasies of how our lives are going to be. But when we expect our reality to match a fantasy but life turns out nothing like it, we feel disappointed.

Asking the right questions

"Are you the right person for me?" is the wrong question to ask, because nothing outside of ourselves can fix us or bring us happiness.
A more constructive question to ask would be "Can I accommodate your imperfections with humor and grace?"

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How I finally learned to sleep

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theguardian.com

My brain flickered into consciousness and, a moment later, a tiny lift in my chest made itself known. Glee. A simple but palpable joy on waking. I bounded out of bed, looking forward to the day. Then a sudden jolt had me standing, motionless, gazing across the room in wonder.

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The Elixir of Life

Sleep, something which people take for granted, much like oxygen, is the elixir of life.

Insomniacs must know that sleep is natural, and normal, with each of us having the capability to sleep well.

Tips for Sleeping

Get up at the same time every morning.
Write affirmations to tell yourself that your body knows how to sleep.
Don't involve your over-thinking mind too much.
Use your bed is for sleep and sex only.
Don't lie awake for more than 20 minutes on the bed, and if you can't sleep, get up and try to do some calming activity like folding laundry.

The Enemy of Sleep

Our body will take care of itself if left on its own. It is our mind which is the culprit, running like a motor, inducing low-grade anxiety inside us.

Sleep is not something you have to do, but something which happens naturally to you. If an insomniac forgets that he is an insomniac, he will have a good night's sleep.

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How Self-Reflection Gives You a Happier and More Successful Life

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lifehack.org

Five years ago, my husband Jake was training for a triathlon. He had just purchased a new road bike and woke up one sunny Saturday morning to take it out for its first spin. As we were lying in bed, he looked at me and said, "I don't have a good feeling about this; I hope something doesn't happen."

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What Self-Reflection Is

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Is the process of thinking back on previous events and interpreting them through your experience.

It’s about taking a step back and reflecting on your life, behavior and beliefs.

The Importance of Self-Reflection

It improve self-awareness.
It allows you to understand and see things from a different point of view.
It allows you to respond, not react.
It facilitates a deeper level of learning.
It improves confidence.
It makes you challenge your assumptions.

The Process of Self-Reflection

STOP: Take a step back from life or a particular situation.
LOOK: Identify and get perspective on what you notice and see.
LISTEN: Listen to your inner guide, the innate wisdom that bubbles up when you give it time and space to emerge.
ACT: Identify the steps you need to take moving forward to adjust, change or improve.

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