Solomon's Paradox suggests that we reason about other people's social problems in a better way as our outlook has a certain distance.
This paradox is evident when we cannot see our own problems with the same clarity and objectivity.

Solomon's Paradox

Our emotions take precedence in our own problems due to our narrow viewpoint.
<ul>
<li>If we imagine that instead of us, it's someone else whom we are advising, we may have a more objective suggestion.</li>
<li>Talking to yourself in the third person also puts us in a witnessing mode.</li>
</ul>

Get Some Distance

Accepting the wisdom that comes from being objective is critical, though it may mean coming in terms with yourself.
Distancing yourself from the situation gives you clarity, but the bitter truth that emerges should not be disregarded.

Accept Your Objective Wisdom

The self-advise that is now accepted, has to be acted upon.
Action is crucial after you objectively understand and accept the problem.

Act On Your Wisdom

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When I was 22, I dated a man who cheated on me with a woman I knew. I was hopelessly in love with him. I ached for him so much that when he wanted to get back into my bed after being in hers, I let him. And when he got back into her bed and wanted back in mine again, I let him.
It went on like this for months.
He would make promises. He would break them. We would break up, but then have a tearful reunion followed by passionate fucking a few days later. I was so immersed in making it work, in figuring out how to change it that I was drowning.
At that same time, a friend of mine discovered her own boyfriend was cheating on her.
She showed up to my apartment with mascara smudged all over her face.
"I love him! What do I do?" she sobbed.
I brought her tissues and whiskey and said, "You have to leave! You don't deserve to be this miserable with someone who doesn't want to uphold the promises you made to each other."
After my friend walked home, I went to the apartment of the man who had now cheated on me dozens of times. I stood on his doorstep wearing just a pea coat and shoes. It was January. It took him a while to come to the door. My teeth were rattling, but I could hear him moving inside.
Finally, he opened the door, and I walked in.
"Jesus, what took you so long?"
"I just woke up," he said. "Long day." He was rubbing the back of his head and cutting his eyes around the room.
"Kiss me," I said.
He obeyed, and I slipped off my shoes and unbuttoned my jacket for him. When he laid me on his bed, I could smell a perfume that wasn't mine on the pillows. For that moment, while he was with me, I didn't care because he had chosen me. If only for that moment, that night.
But when I fell asleep, I had a dream in which I kissed the other woman's soft mouth and tasted him on her lips.
Even though I'd so wisely told my friend in the same situation that she needed to leave, it took that dream to make me realize that I was giving myself to someone who wasn't willing to give themselves wholly to me. When I walked out of his apartment the next morning, I never walked back in again.
For all of us, it's hard to judge a problem clearly when we're immersed in it.
It requires distance to judge things more reasonably.
King Solomon, known for his wisdom and sage advice, couldn't save himself from making disastrous choices that led to his kingdom's demise, which is why psychological scientist Igor Grossmann dubbed this phenomenon the " <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/0956797614535400">Solomon's Paradox.</a> "
Grossmann discovered within his research that, "people reason more wisely about other people's social problems than about their own."
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When I was 22, I dated a man who cheated on me with a woman I knew. I was hopelessly in love with him. I ached for him so much that when he wanted to get back into my bed after being in hers, I let him.

How to Use "Solomon's Paradox" to Make Better Decisions

Solomon's Paradox

Get Some Distance

Accept Your Objective Wisdom

Act On Your Wisdom

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