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Small talk
Not everyone enjoys small talk. It is not that they are not comfortable talking, but one-on-one, small talk remains an issue.
Small talk precedes big talk in the normal course of human affairs. Most people feel the need to connect first before they delve into the serious conversation or ongoing friendships - which means those who avoid small talk are removing themselves from meaningful social interaction.
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The social function speech
The daily human interaction speech is a social, relational behavior. It reveals the social fabric.
Small talk is not void of semantic content. Even saying "I am doing well" has some information. But, the primary function of small talk is to do something. It is meant to serv...
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Small talk has meaning
Anthropologist Bronisław Malinowski noted in 1923 that a great deal of talk "does not serve any purpose of communicating ideas" but "to establish bonds of personal union." He also said that small talk was merely a way to fill the silence.
He was wrong. Small talk is not ju...
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Two talking skills
To "talk well" in the social sense is to send the correct social signals and is different from "talking well" in the communicative sense.
Few people can master both. Most people are either extremely verbal and eloquent but socially inept or intuitively at ease in a social situation ...
124
468 reads
Speech operates on two levels
- Speech communicates information or ideas. It is the semantic content of speech.
- On another level, talking is a social behavior. Every speech does something. It reassures, acknowledges, nurtures, enjoins, rejects, dominates, encourages, or just fill an awkward silence.
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Not for everyone
Not everyone needs small talk. For some small talk feels like their head is a haze of white noise and they desperately want to escape the interaction.
But, they feel comfortable if you dive straight in and ask about politics or religion or the meaning of life.
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Notes On Small Talk
- The goal of small talk is to build a bridge between people. Subject is irrelevant, as long as you have one.
- Focus on what you'd like to learn about others and things you enjoy talking about.
- Ask follow-up questions and listen betwe...
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