When we deal with others, we aren't thinking; we're just reacting.

Often we know these interpersonal habits are bad, but they're wired deep from years of "practice".

We learned these "lessons" about how to deal with people and stumbled on "solutions" that helped at that time, in that context - but they've been more harm than good over the long haul.

If we try to resist that programming, it gets very uncomfortable. It's like trying to break any bad habit or addiction.

Identify: Find your fatal flaw. Whether it’s hostility, withdrawal, compliance or whatever, identify that bad social habit that always causes you grief.

The Moment of Choice: Next time you reflexively want to engage in that bad coping behaviour, all you hav...