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The First Impression
While people perceive narcissism to be an undesirable quality in others, the first impression that gets created in seeing a narcissist is a positive one.
It may be due to the narcissists strategically presenting themselves in ways in which they are perceived having high levels of self-esteem.
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In spite of the exhibitionism, arrogance, vanity and a massive superiority complex, narcissists seem attractive, and alluring to a large section of people.
This surprising outcome may be due to people confusing narcissism with positive self-worth and high self-esteem.
- Narcissists may seem alluring because they seem like a catch, living in the 'emerging zone' of life, which manifests itself in parties, early-stage relationships, and places where making a good first impression is key.
- When narcissists move towards the 'enduring zone', which involves continuing a relationship, and long-term consequences, they start behaving arrogantly and negatively.
Dating profiles report more attraction towards the flashy narcissists who show off their 'sex-appeal' upfront. Even in politics, people tend to gravitate towards candidates who show positive self-esteem or narcissism.
A flashy attire, or showing off while dating is a trait of narcissists, not of those with healthy self-esteem, who have a stable sense of worth.
It is crucial that we accurately distinguish between narcissism and healthy self-esteem, both as a perceiver and as a person addicted to esteem.
RELATED IDEAS
- The term Narcissist is named after the beautiful Narcissus, a youth in Ancient Greece who was so self-obsessed with his own reflection that it killed him.
- A narcissistic attitude is a product of self-loathing, and not self-love, according to an academic study.
- Narcissism is mostly misunderstood and is in fact a cover-up or a defence mechanism on one’s negative self-worth and deep insecurities.
- Narcissism can be described as performative self-elevation, where one pretends to be more successful or important than one really is.
Never extend credit to, or accept promises from, a narcissist. As soon as they get what they want, they will be on to the next thing, forgetting whatever they said they would do for you.
Make sure you get what they dangle in front of you before you give them what they want. Narcissists will rarely be offended by people looking out for themselves.
Some narcissists will constantly put other people down, to boost their own desirability and acceptability.
Targets of their negative talk may include “inferior” colleagues, “incompetent” managers, “clueless” friends, and “flawed” former relations.