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Harvard researchers have mapped the five child-rearing techniques you need to raise kind kids
Instilling kindness
Most parents believe it is a top priority to instill kindness in their children.
However, in one study, nearly 80% of children surveyed said their parents taught them that personal happiness and high achievement were more important than caring for other people.
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Key Ideas
Instilling kindness
Most parents believe it is a top priority to instill kindness in their children.
However, in one study, nearly 80% of children surveyed said their parents taught them that personal happiness and high achievement were more important than caring for other people.
Give kids opportunities for kindness
Children learn to act kindly the same way they learn anything else - with practice.
Give them daily opportunities to practice kindness, such as helping another child.
Two important skills
Children need to learn to focus on individuals and truly listen to them.
They also need to learn to see the bigger picture by putting human experience in context.
Role models
Children will emulate their parents. Children need to see how their parents show empathy, concern, and sympathy.
Managing destructive feelings
Shame, anger, and jealousy can interfere with kindness. Children need to be taught how to address these feelings.
When adults introduce ethical questions, they put issues of injustice in view and help children learn how to treat their various responsibilities to others and themselves.
Adults should stop passing the buck
Few parents are willing to admit that they might be part of the children's moral state.
Parents need to understand what values they are instilling in their children by being aware of their own actions.
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Participate With The Kids
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Smartphones and Social Media
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Self-compassion
Self-compassion is treating yourself with the same kindness and consideration that you would offer to someone else.
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Why parents need self-compassion
Parents' frame of mind impacts their children. Parents should not blame themselves when their children struggle.
Since parents lead by example, treating themselves with compassion and without judgment can help their children to do the same.
Make time for mindfulness
Many parents stop meditating once they have children. But new research suggests that even brief interventions can be helpful.
- Take two breaths of kindness wherever you are.
- Find moments of newness while engaged in your daily tasks of living.
- Bring awareness and gratitude to the everyday things you take for granted.