Shift From Malicious To Benign Envy - Deepstash
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Shift From Malicious To Benign Envy

To shift your thinking from malicious to benign envy, try these phrases:

• “I’m inspired by _____. Maybe I can learn from them, or ask them to be my mentor.”

• “I haven’t done what they’ve done . . . yet.”

• “Every person is on their own journey. I’m grateful for mine.”

97

969 reads

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Comparing Up With Comparing Down

Yes, comparing yourself with others is unavoidable, but by applying some of this advice, you can learn to use it to your advantage. Remember that you only see the tip of the iceberg, especially on social media – someone whose life seems perfect on Instagram may be dealing with struggles that you’...

88

692 reads

5 Ways To Turn Unchecked Comparison Into Action

Here’s how to take your envy, decode it and turn it into positive action:

  1. Listen to your strongest triggers
  2. Make sure your envy doesn’t become malicious
  3. Pick a broader baseline
  4. Compare the nitty-gritty
  5. Compare present you against past you

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2K reads

Listen To Your Strongest Triggers

Comparison can teach you what you value when you see yourself envying someone doing something you want, even if you haven’t consciously allowed yourself to want it.

Self-awareness can help you turn your feelings into something useful, so the...

115

1.22K reads

Comparison-induced envy can be a great motivator and guide. It can also make us bitter.

Psychologists distinguish between benign envy, when we admire someone and try to emulate them, and malicious envy, when we dislike the other person for having what we want. It’s the di...

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912 reads

Compare The Nitty-Gritty

Thinking through a day-in-the-life can help you make better comparisons, for example by asking yourself:

  • What would a day-in-the-life look like?
  • What specific pieces of that life do I want?
  • What specific pieces of that life do I not want?
  • What e...

95

768 reads

Compare Present You Against Past You

You may not always be exactly where you want to be, but chances are you’re not where you used to be, either. Pausing to take stock of your accomplishments – and the skills you’ve developed as a result – can help you feel proud of your progress and untangle yourself from malicious envy.

A s...

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602 reads

If you see a friend hitting a personal milestone, it’s easy to feel you’re far behind in life. But if you think of 10 or 20 of your acquaintances, chances are a bunch will be in the same boat as you – and might even be happily sailing along.

In an experiment, researchers a...

97

703 reads

Unchecked Comparison Makes You Miserable

Left unchecked, comparison can make you miserable. Seeing people be better at something than you are can feel like a vicious uprooting. But with the right tools, you can use your envy to uncover what you value.

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2.51K reads

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When you try to help another person you probably don’t start with a critical attack towards them about everything they’ve done wrong or aren’t good at. Yet, so often we speak harshly to ourselves in our own minds.

Being your own hero means standing up for yourself when critical self-talk...

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From the reading you’ve done and discussions with your coach, you design the following practices:

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  1. Sleep well: Give your mind and body the rest it needs to bring out your superpowers. Have a strict routine for sleep. Remove distractions, ditch that phone. Been there done that. Go to the next level, get a good mattress/pillow.
  2. Workout: Yes, sweat it out. No, tomorrow is not a good ...

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