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Don't Use Authenticity as an Excuse to Be Cruel

Authenticity is under threat

The idea of authenticity has been changed into an excuse to be cruel without feeling bad about it.

Reclaiming authenticity is essential because it is a key piece of a meaningful life.


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Don't Use Authenticity as an Excuse to Be Cruel

Don't Use Authenticity as an Excuse to Be Cruel


Key Ideas

Authenticity is under threat

The idea of authenticity has been changed into an excuse to be cruel without feeling bad about it.

Reclaiming authenticity is essential because it is a key piece of a meaningful life.


Authenticity is about being your true self and not pretending to be someone else. It is also the way to take ownership and refine and improve your true self toward the best you can become.

Therefore, if your true self is aggressive, entitled or immature, you don't have permission to mistreat others.

Know yourself

You can only know yourself if you are honest and accepting of all the parts of you.

  • Acknowledge the good parts about yourself. This can include strengths, talents, knowledge, skills.
  • Don't overlook the bad parts. The bad of you will hurt others and sabotage your path toward a meaningful life.
  • There might also be ugly parts, like being awkward, off-putting, or distracting from the good.

Work in progress

You are an imperfect work in progress. Be comfortable giving free rein to the good parts of yourself, limit and reform the bad parts, and refine the ugly.

Observe, absorb, and learn

Pay attention around you as you work on first knowing, then working on yourself.

  • What happens when you let your best loose?
  • When are you better and restraining the bad?
  • How are people responding to your efforts to refine your ugly?
  • Are there ways to better express the good, take responsibility for the bad and tweak the ugly?

    Finding your true self

    People feel a greater sense of meaning in life when they are able to be their true selves. To reveal the true self:

    • Think of only those traits you are able to express around those people you are closest to.
    • Now think of only those characteristics that you possess and are often able to express to others in social settings.

    The distance between your answer to the true-self and the social settings prompt is how far you have to go to become authentic. Ultimately, the way we act around those who are closest to us is how we should act around everyone.


    Personal Or Core Values

    They are what you consider most important in your life, literally what you “value. ” They are broad concepts that can be applied across a wide range of circumstances, as opposed to narrow answers t...

    The Benefits Of Having a Core Value
    • Having a core values list helps you make better decisions. The decisions you make come more quickly and efficiently than they would without it.
    • Being unconscious of your core values makes you likely to keep repeating the same mistakes.
    Creating a List Of Personal Values

    The core values that are most valuable to each of us come from our own personal experience, not from being taught.

    As you put them into practice you’ll get better at internalizing these values and they’ll express themselves subconsciously with smaller decisions, as well.

    4 more ideas

    Rob Hill Sr.

    “My goal is to build a life I don’t need a vacation from.”

    Rob Hill Sr.
    Creating the life you love

    Make choices leading to the life you want to create for yourself. Don't let your past hold you back.

    Your life might not seem to be the best fit for someone else, but it should a life you are happy with. Create a life you love.

    How to create an authentic life

    Start where you are right now.

    • Align your life with your own core values - those things that are most important to you personally.
    • Find time to do the activities you loved doing as a child. - join an activity group or take a class.

    Listen to yourself and take action on what you discover.

    Meaning in Life
    • Many of us struggle with finding meaning, as we are busy with our daily work and distractions.
    • Meaning in life provides us with the purpose of getting up daily, energized and pepped up...
    Meaningful Work

    21–35% of our life is spent at work, making it a crucial part of our lives to spend at something we find meaning in.

    Meaningful work should be:

    • Motivating and purposeful.
    • Should be coherent and make some sense.
    • Should be significant.
    Connected with a Purpose

    Meaningful work is when we feel a genuine connection with what we do for a living and our larger spectrum of life.

    It is motivating, creates deep relationships and helps others.

    11 more ideas

    Smart generosity concept applied inside the companies

    Because of the current pandemic, companies have had to re-evaluate their purpose. This is to say that smart companies apply the smart generosity concept, according to which employees and stakeholde...

    Companies' response to the pandemic

    While facing the difficulties that the new virus is making companies all over the world fight against, there are several employers out there who seem to really know what they are doing. Companies of all types are helping researchers, suppliers and not only to help slow down the spread of the virus.

    Cooperation in the time of Pandemic

    Companies all over the world are currently collaborating with each other, NGO and governmental entities in order to hep improve the overall current situation. Their cooperation goes from providing food to the ones in need to developing vaccines.

    one more idea

    Finding happiness at work

    Not only is it possible to find happiness at work, but that doing so is unambiguously good. 

    Happier employees do better on all fronts, from day-to-day health to productivi...

    Portrait of people who are happy in life
    • They have an easy time feeling good and recovering from adversity
    • they have close, supportive social connections
    • they believe that their presence in the world matters.
    4 key pillars of happiness at work
    1. Purpose. Our purpose is a reflection of our core values, and we feel more purposeful at work when our everyday behaviors and decisions are aligned with those values.
    2. Engagement. Prioritise some fun. Take ownership of decisions that affects you. Adopt a flow at work.
    3. Resilience. The ability to handle, adapt to, and productively learn from setbacks, failures, and disappointments.
    4. Kindness. Being kind at work involves treating others with dignity and respect, extending empathy and compassion, practicing gratitude, and constructively managing conflicts.
    Authentic leadership

    Is a management style in which leaders are genuine, self-aware, and transparent. 

    An authentic leader is able to inspire loyalty and trust in her employees by consistently display...

    Components of Authentic Leadership
    • Self-Awareness: be aware of your trengths, weaknesses, and values and displaying them to your team.
    • Relational Transparency: remain genuine, straightforward, and honest with your team. Display the behavior you hope to see in your employees.
    • Balanced Processing: stick to your values when making decisions, but remain open to discussions and alternatve options.
    • Doing the right thing: focus on doing the right thing for the long-term success of the business, not yours.
    3 ways to practie self-awareness as a leader
  • Seek feedback from the environment;
  • Use self-reflection to better understand your behavior;
  • Practice regular self-observation to stay aware of your feelings at all times.
  • The Deathbed Fallacy

    People on their deathbeds regret not spending more time with their family, traveling more, worrying less, etc.

    We change over time as we grow and mature. The fallacy is t...

    Not a representative state

    The 'deathbed' is not a representative state of life. What you desire when you are there might not have much in common with the most meaningful or satisfactory life you could have led.

    • The deathbed-you has no future, only present and memories.
    •  People on their deathbeds think they know their past selves well, but they probably don't.
    • They are locked in a time, place and life situation that might be different from yours.
    Your past selves

    You don’t know your past selves. The older you get, the more you think you understand yourself as a younger person. You have probably forgotten how you were influenced then and might still have the same values. 

    For instance, you might think that a priority as a child was to fit it. But, if really looking at your diary, you discover that you valued independence back then the same you do now.

    3 more ideas

    Petter Johansson

    “A lot of what we call self-knowledge is actually self-interpretation. So I see myself make a choice, and then wh..."

    Petter Johansson
    The meaning machine

    The human brain is a “meaning machine,” and it will make sense out of literally anything put in front of it.

    Figuring out what we want

    Confirmation bias plays a big role in this process: once we make a selection, we’ll do almost anything to rationalize it.

    Which is why action will always trump analysis.

    2 more ideas

    Focusing On The Long-Term.

    Authentic leaders focus on the long term. They realize that nurturing individuals and a company requires hard work and patience, but the approach pays large dividends over time.

    Leading With Heart And Mind

    Authentic leaders are not afraid to show their emotions, their vulnerability and to connect with their employees. They understand it doesn’t make them “soft” and that communicating in a direct but empathetic manner is critical to successful outcomes.

    Mission-Driven And Goal Oriented

    Authentic leaders are able to put the mission and the goals of the organization ahead of their own self-interest. They do the job in pursuit of results.

    2 more ideas