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When we criticize the anger, we are providing fuel to the fire, leading to further aggression on the angry person's part. If we ignore and give in, we are setting a wrong example and the person learns that it is ok and effective to be angry.
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Unchecked self-talk can easily turn into self-delusion. The stories we create almost always make you look like the good guy and cannot be termed as objective.
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Anger leads us to poor decisions, regrettable behavior, or hurt feelings. However, some anger leads to more significant consequences, like strained relationships or legal trouble.
The key to ...
Anger is an emotion, while aggression is a behavior. They differ entirely in one central dimension - control.
While you can't control your emotions of anger directly, you have control over your aggression, which is a decision to express your anger.
Aggression does not only involve acts of violence. Being overly-critical or judgmental of someone in your mind is an act of aggression, as is replying sarcastically or rolling your eyes at someone.
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Instead of viewing someone’s bad mood as a problem to be fixed, if your perspective slightly and try to see it as a puzzle.
When you shift from problem-thinking to puzzle-thinking, your mi...
Rather than putting yourself in someone else’s shoes, try to remember a time when you wore the same shoe.
Try to recall a time when you struggled in a similar way and with a similar set of difficult emotions and moods. It's a powerful way to appreciate someone else struggle.
Most people struggling emotionally don’t want someone to fix their pain, they went to feel understood.
Use Reflective listening. It means that when someone tells you something, you simply reflect back to them what they said, either literally or with your own slight spin on it.
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Relationships nowadays are regularly in the doldrums, with certain factors that tend to ruin them. These same factors can be ‘reverse-engineered’ to help us strengthen and improve these relations.
When someone talks about their problems, we are jumping in the problem-solving mode straight away. While dealing with people, this approach can backfire. A better approach is to just listen and validate their struggles, make them feel heard and understood.
Many times, the external appearance of behaviour isn’t the full story and has underlying functions. It is just a symptom and not the problem.
Example: When a teenager is mad for no reason, it helps to understand the underlying problems they usually have in this age, and be compassionate.