Fear and resentment

When having important discussions with our partners, we face the fear that they are not really hearing us.
This could lead us to develop a form of resentment because we may not feel validated by them. We might also misinterpret their body language and words and feel hurt and disrespected by them.

Rafael N. (@raf_kn) - Profile Photo

@raf_kn

Love & Family

tonyrobbins.com

MORE IDEAS FROM THE ARTICLE

Fear is the enemy of healthy communication. The antidote would thus be developing safety.
When we feel safe, we can talk about anything in healthy ways. You should also make sure you help your partner feel safe when talking to you.

To foster safety in your relationships, keep in mind these principles:

  • Accountability
  • Perspective
  • Patience
  • Integrity
  • Kindness
  • Humility
  • Acknowledgment
  • Respect
Poor communication

The lack of communication is one of the main reasons for break-ups, divorces and for seeking couple therapy, according to studies.
Poor communication is also related to conflict-based conversations.

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RELATED IDEAS

Practice paraphrasing instead of responding with nods, a-ha's, and yeah's. 

This type of communicating makes your partner feel like they are getting real attention and empathy.

For example:
If they are talking about a conflict they had at work say, “So it sounds like you are frustrated because your boss didn’t acknowledge how hard you worked on that project.”

Why setting expectations is critical

One of the top reasons for unhappiness in the workplace is communication issues with one’s manager/supervisor.

Managers tend to make incorrect assumptions that employees have all of the information needed about what needs to be done, without having to communicate it clearly to them. Yet, employees will have a different idea of what is required.

Self-understanding

To make a marriage work, you have to be the right person.

Rather than looking for the right partner, become aware of your blind spots, growing edges and vulnerabilities. Take responsibility and learn how to work with them effectively. Then invite in a compatible, suitable partner.

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