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Does fear derail your communication?

https://www.tonyrobbins.com/love-relationships/does-fear-derail-your-communication/

tonyrobbins.com

Does fear derail your communication?
If you're in a relationship, or have ever been in one, you know that communication is key to its success. Numerous studies have identified communication (or lack thereof) as one of the top reasons for couples therapy, as well as one of the primary reasons for break-up and divorce.

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Poor communication

Poor communication

The lack of communication is one of the main reasons for break-ups, divorces and for seeking couple therapy, according to studies.
Poor communication is also related to conflict-based conversations.

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Fear and resentment

When having important discussions with our partners, we face the fear that they are not really hearing us.
This could lead us to develop a form of resentment because we may not feel validated by them. We might also misinterpret their body language and words and feel hurt and disrespected by them.

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The antidote to fear

Fear is the enemy of healthy communication. The antidote would thus be developing safety.
When we feel safe, we can talk about anything in healthy ways. You should also make sure you help your partner feel safe when talking to you.

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Key principles for safety

To foster safety in your relationships, keep in mind these principles:

  • Accountability
  • Perspective
  • Patience
  • Integrity
  • Kindness
  • Humility
  • Acknowledgment
  • Respect

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SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:

You don’t paraphrase or restate

Practice paraphrasing instead of responding with nods, a-ha's, and yeah's. 

This type of communicating makes your partner feel like they are getting real attention and empathy.

Focusing on the person instead of the issue

Try to talk about the issue at hand and how it makes you feel.

For example:
“It makes me feel frustrated that you forgot what I wanted. Is there a way I can help you to remember next time?”

Not showing your appreciation

It is important to remind your partner you appreciate them. 

This generates a warm and loving atmosphere as a backdrop to your relationship.

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Self-understanding

To make a marriage work, you have to be the right person.

Rather than looking for the right partner, become aware of your blind spots, growing edges and vulnerabilities. Take r...

You can’t avoid marital conflict

Blaming, oversimplifying, and seeing oneself as a victim are all common traits of unhappy couples and failed marriages.

Conflicts should be approached by looking together at the problem.

A good marriage takes skill

Most of us don’t have adequate communication skills going into marriage. It is important to build this skill.

When you're in love

When humans fall in love, their bodies are actively producing feel-good hormones and preventing the release of negative hormones.

When this process suddenly stops, the "w...

Going through a breakup

Heartbreak is a form of grief and loss that can cause serious issues with insomnia, anxiety and depression.

The pain we feel during heartbreak is similar to the physical pain we feel due to a severe burn on a broken arm.

Healing from a breakup

  • Visual reminders are likely to create dopamine surges in your brain that relate to feelings of craving and withdrawal.
  • Replace those surges of dopamine by taking a fitness class. Exercise can also release endorphins that trigger positive feelings.
  • Find a "new normal".
  • Accept the reason for the breakup.