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Three Star Leadership | Wally Bock | Leadership: Make Those Tough Conversations Easier

Tough conversations

If leadership is your job, you can’t walk away from them. Because they're part of your job.
These are conversations about performance and behavior. Most bosses dread them.

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Three Star Leadership | Wally Bock | Leadership: Make Those Tough Conversations Easier

Three Star Leadership | Wally Bock | Leadership: Make Those Tough Conversations Easier

https://www.threestarleadership.com/performance-management/leadership-make-those-tough-conversations-easier

threestarleadership.com

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Key Ideas

Tough conversations

If leadership is your job, you can’t walk away from them. Because they're part of your job.
These are conversations about performance and behavior. Most bosses dread them.

Make tough conversations easier

  • Touch base often, to catch problems when they're small.
  • Build relationships through conversations. Your employees will learn about you and whether they can trust you.
  • Have regular one-on-ones with your team members.
  • Solve problems as they appear. The smaller, the easier to handle.
  • Keep tough conversations private, away from distractions.
  • Tailor what you say and do to the person you’re meeting with.
  • Treat people with dignity.

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The Art of Confrontation
  • Develop relationships with your team members: that way both of you are more willing to listen.
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Components of Authentic Leadership
  • Self-Awareness: be aware of your trengths, weaknesses, and values and displaying them to your team.
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  • Seek feedback from the environment;
  • Use self-reflection to better understand your behavior;
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  • Power tips for tough conversation
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    2. Tell people they matter by being prepared when they show up
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    1:1 meetings
    1:1 meetings

    1:1 meetings matter. It is important to nurture that essential employee-manager relationship. But it still not easy to get right.

    Under pressures, managers are still juggl...

    1:1 category

    The goal of an effective 1:1 is not an update from your direct report or for you to lay down some instructions. It's a conversation. It's a chance to hear about your direct reports' ideas for your product, their career goals, and possibly their opinion of their performance.

    Keep a list of three potential topics ready for discussion. When they say they have nothing to discuss, you can jumpstart the conversation with one of your items.

    Manager's best tool

    Your most precious resource is your own time and energy. When you spend it on your team, it helps build healthy relationships.

    Your job as a manager isn't to give advice or 'save the day.'' It's to empower your reports to find the answer themselves. If you want to understand what's going on, ask. Let her lead the conversation while you listen and probe.

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    Signs of poor communication skills
    • People only approach you with questions or feedback when they absolutely need to do so.
    • If you walk away from a conversation or meeting and can’t remember what the other person said or...
    Do a Self-Assessment
    • Take an honest look at how you communicate. Are you thorough, clear, and factual in how you convey yourself? How consistent are you in how you communicate?
    • Look at how clear you make your expectations—and how open you are to understanding what others expect of you.
    • Assess how do you handle “crucial conversations” that can be emotionally or politically charged.
    Ditch Your Assumptions and Ask

    To be effective in information gathering, you need to let go of assumptions and be aware enough to recognize when you’re jumping to conclusions, making judgments, or using labels.

    Asking curious, open-ended questions encourages dialogue instead of dictating what other people should do or think, And the best communicators listen more than they speak.

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    • Offer multiple modes of communication. Instead of calling on them during a meeting, send them an email afterward.
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    Passive communicators battle to express their needs and stand by their convictions. This is because they want to avoid conflict. They may be silent during crucial meetings. If they do make a suggestion and it is challenged, they may say, "never mind then."

    Managing the aggressive communicators
    • Outline and enforce boundaries. If they interrupt someone, step in and say, "Please let [Name} finish, and afterward, we'll give you time to speak too."
    • Give them a safe and healthy way to vent their anger. People under pressure are more likely to act out. Pull them aside for a one-on-one time to address their concerns.

    Aggressive Communicators voice their opinions in a straightforward, often blunt way. They often interrupt others, take up significantly more time than others during meetings and don't take into account others' feelings or opinions.

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    Reduce the number of decisions and tasks you have to do each morning in between waking up and doing your work:

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