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Why meeting another's gaze is so powerful

Gazing eyes command our attention

Meeting the direct gaze interferes with our ability to hold and use information in our minds over a short time. It also interferes with our imagination and mental control.

We generally perceive people who make more eye contact as more intelligent, conscientious and sincere. We are more inclined to trust them.

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IDEA EXTRACTED FROM:

Why meeting another's gaze is so powerful

Why meeting another's gaze is so powerful

https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20190108-why-meeting-anothers-gaze-is-so-powerful

bbc.com

4

Key Ideas

Eye contact is natural

Eye contact is a natural part of most casual conversations. From everyday experiences, we know that we make assumptions about people's personalities based on how much they make eye contact. We can also feel left out if people don't make eye contact.

Gazing eyes command our attention

Meeting the direct gaze interferes with our ability to hold and use information in our minds over a short time. It also interferes with our imagination and mental control.

We generally perceive people who make more eye contact as more intelligent, conscientious and sincere. We are more inclined to trust them.

Too much eye contact

We can feel uncomfortable when people make too much eye contact.

Psychologists concluded that three seconds is the preferred length of eye contact. Gazes longer than nine seconds may come across as creepy.

Your eyes convey a message

  • Faces with more dilated pupils are perceived as more attractive.
  • Narrowing eyes can signal disgust.
  • The dark circles that surround your irises, the limbal rings, are more often visible in younger, healthier people, and onlookers know this on some level.

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  • Eye gaze: Directly eye contact indicates interest and paying attention. Prolonged eye contact can feel threatening.
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  • Turned up or down: When the mouth is slightly turned up, it might mean that the person is feeling happy or optimistic. A slightly down-turned mouth can be an indicator of sadness/ disapproval.
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  • A clenched fist indicates anger in some situations or solidarity in others.
  • A thumbs up and thumbs down: gestures of approval and disapproval.
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Really see each other

Making eye contact with someone can relieve stress and create a deeper sense of connection. 

Even making eye contact with a stranger can soften your heart.

Listen with all of your senses

When you talk with someone in person, notice the posture and body language of the other person. Focus on the tone in their voice. Consider the meaning of their words.

Reach out and touch someone

Touch is a way we communicate and essential to our development. Touch makes us feel safe and encourage trust, love, and compassion.

Reach out to your loved ones and see if you notice a difference.

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The Duchenne‘ smile is long and intense, though it involves the contraction of just two muscles. First the zygomatic major, which resides in the cheek, tugs at the corners of the mouth, then the orbicularis oculi, which surrounds the eye, pulls up the cheeks, leading to the characteristic ‘twinkling eyes’.

Fear smile
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In babies, a broad grin can either mean they’re happy or distressed and studies have shown that men tend to smile more around those considered to be higher status.

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Looking Friendly
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The best body language for influence depends on your goal. Make sure your body language matches your words to make you more effective.

  • If you want to increase the attractiveness of an offer, think sales-y. Use animated movements. Lean forward. Move and speak quickly.
  • If you want to reduce resistance to what you're saying, think calm and authoritative. Specific gestures. Lean back. Move and speak slowly. 
Looking Like A Leader

It is important to balance the appearance of authority and warmth.

  • You show authority and power by your upright posture, your command of physical space, purposeful stride, a firm handshake, and palm-down gestures.
  • You communicate warmth nonverbally with open body postures, palm-up hand gestures, full-frontal body orientation, positive eye contact, synchronized movements, nods, head tilts, and smiles.

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Develop A Sense Of Confidence

People like confident individuals, even if their other qualities are less attractive. Developing confidence is a balancing act as you don't want to be arrogant, but you also don't want to come across as timid or scared.

Exercising regularly, dressing in clothes that make you feel good, and talking about the things you understand well can help you build and maintain confidence.

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Shyness is not bad

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Disinterested interlocutors

Signs of a disengaged, disinterested or unhappy audience:

  • Arms folded in front of the body.
  • Minimal or tense facial expression.
  • Body turned away from you.
  • Eyes downcast, maintaining little contact.

Being aware of these signs can help you to adjust what you say and how you say it, so you can make him feel more at ease and receptive to your viewpoint

Unengaged Audiences

Some signs that people may be bored or disinterested in what you're saying:

  • Sitting slumped, with heads downcast.
  • Gazing at something else, or into space.
  • Fidgeting, picking at clothes, or fiddling with pens and phones.
  • Writing or doodling.

When you notice that, you can re-engage people by asking a direct question, or by inviting people to contribute an idea.

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