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Why meeting another's gaze is so powerful
Gazing eyes command our attention
Meeting the direct gaze interferes with our ability to hold and use information in our minds over a short time. It also interferes with our imagination and mental control.
We generally perceive people who make more eye contact as more intelligent, conscientious and sincere. We are more inclined to trust them.
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Eye contact is natural
Eye contact is a natural part of most casual conversations. From everyday experiences, we know that we make assumptions about people's personalities based on how much they make eye contact. We can also feel left out if people don't make eye contact.
Gazing eyes command our attention
Meeting the direct gaze interferes with our ability to hold and use information in our minds over a short time. It also interferes with our imagination and mental control.
We generally perceive people who make more eye contact as more intelligent, conscientious and sincere. We are more inclined to trust them.
Too much eye contact
We can feel uncomfortable when people make too much eye contact.
Psychologists concluded that three seconds is the preferred length of eye contact. Gazes longer than nine seconds may come across as creepy.
Your eyes convey a message
- Faces with more dilated pupils are perceived as more attractive.
- Narrowing eyes can signal disgust.
- The dark circles that surround your irises, the limbal rings, are more often visible in younger, healthier people, and onlookers know this on some level.
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Eye signals
- Eye gaze: Directly eye contact indicates interest and paying attention. Prolonged eye contact can feel threatening.
- Blinking: People often blink more rapidly when t...
Lip signals
- Pursed lips: an indicator of distaste, disapproval, or distrust.
- Lip biting: signals people are worried, anxious, or stressed.
- Covering the mouth: used when people want to hide an emotional reaction.
- Turned up or down: When the mouth is slightly turned up, it might mean that the person is feeling happy or optimistic. A slightly down-turned mouth can be an indicator of sadness/ disapproval.
Gestures
- A clenched fist indicates anger in some situations or solidarity in others.
- A thumbs up and thumbs down: gestures of approval and disapproval.
- The "okay" gesture: "okay" or "all right." In some parts of Europe, the same signal is used to imply you are nothing. In some South American countries, the symbol is actually a vulgar gesture.
- The V sign: peace or victory in some countries. In the UK and Australia, the symbol takes on an offensive meaning when the back of the hand is facing outward.
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Really see each other
Making eye contact with someone can relieve stress and create a deeper sense of connection.
Even making eye contact with a stranger can soften your heart.
Listen with all of your senses
When you talk with someone in person, notice the posture and body language of the other person. Focus on the tone in their voice. Consider the meaning of their words.
Reach out and touch someone
Touch is a way we communicate and essential to our development. Touch makes us feel safe and encourage trust, love, and compassion.
Reach out to your loved ones and see if you notice a difference.
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