<ul><li>Vulnerability is neither good nor bad. Rather, being vulnerable simply means you have the capacity to experience emotions. </li><li>Though we often associate vulnerability with dark emotions, like fear, grief, or sadness, vulnerability is, in fact, also the root of our positive emotions: love, joy, empathy, and so on.</li><li>Allowing yourself to be vulnerable shows strength and courage – not weakness.</li></ul>

Being vulnerable is not a sign of weakness

<ul><li>Shame is the fear of social disconnection; it’s only human, but harmful nonetheless.</li><li>Shame is part of our current culture and it promotes a fear of unworthiness – of never having or being enough.</li></ul>

How does shame work?

Leaders in education, work, and society as a whole should combat disengagement by encouraging.Such a culture of worthiness and openness towards vulnerability can combat shame-based problems, and if we learn to engage our own vulnerability we can transfer the same values and concepts to our workplaces, schools, and families. vulnerability over shame.

A culture of vulnerability

Talking about our feelings of shame and naming them often diminishes their power. In fact, verbalizing our shame actually makes us resilient to it.This is because shame gains power through being unspeakable: the less we talk about it, the more control it has over our lives.The problem is that it's natural for us to keep our shame to ourselves. Shame doesn't even require the presence of other people: most of us are likely to be our own worst critics and maintain a stockpile of shame to draw from.

Shame

“Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren't always comfortable, but they're never weakness.”

Vulnerability means uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure. You might love someone, for example, and in doing so expose yourself emotionally; but you can never be certain that they'll reciprocate, thus you risk being rejected. Like any other feeling, love entails vulnerability.

What being vulnerable means

In order to remove our armor and put down our weapons, it’s necessary to identify how we are masking our shame and protecting our vulnerabilities. The three major shields that we use to protect ourselves:<ul><li>Foreboding Joy (Imagining dreadful outcomes that clamp down on momentary joy)</li><li>Perfectionism (Believing that doing everything perfectly protects us from shame)</li><li>Numbing (Embracing anything that deadens the pain of discomfort and shame)</li></ul>The powerful disarming strategies for freeing ourselves of these masks:<ul><li>Worthiness (I am enough)</li><li>Boundaries (I’ve had enough)</li><li>Engagement (I’m taking risks and let<warningtag>ting myself be seen).</warningtag></li></ul>

Unmasking vulnerability

As adults, we realize that to live with courage, purpose, and connection…we must again be vulnerable. We must take off the armor, put down the weapons, show up, and let ourselves be seen.

Embracing our vulnerability can help us to learn and develop, both professionally and socially.<ul><li>Social development: embracing vulnerability allows us to both experience our emotions authentically and be empathic, enabling us to connect with others. Just as you'd appreciate others being open and honest with you, your vulnerability and willingness to share your feelings and thoughts will be received positively.</li><li>Professional development: it's only by taking risks and daring to expose our work and ideas to external criticism that we can improve ourselves. If you practice only what you know you're <warningtag>good at, you of course avoid the risk of failure, but you also miss out on a potential new experience. </warningtag></li></ul>

Embracing the idea of being vulnerable

If you ignore your vulnerability, or you're simply unaware of it, you might end up increasing it. As one study demonstrated, people who believed themselves to be invulnerable to the persuasive power of advertising were, in fact, the most susceptible to it; participants claiming to be unaffected by commercials responded more to them than those who acknowledged their own suggestibility.

When we ignore our vulnerability

How to be vulnerable: Learn to bring more healthy vulnerability to your life.

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Books

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Health

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Communication

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Personal Development

Understand yourself and those around you.

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Psychology

Daring To Be Vulnerable

How to be vulnerable and embrace imperfection, to live wholeheartedly, and courageously.

The #1 New York Times bestseller. More than 2 million copies sold! Look for Brené Brown’s new podcast, Dare to Lead, as well as her ongoing podcast Unlocking Us! From thought leader Brené Brown, a transformative new vision for the way we lead, love, work, parent, and educate that teaches us the power of vulnerability. “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; . . . who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.”—Theodore Roosevelt Every day we experience the uncertainty, risks, and emotional exposure that define what it means to be vulnerable or to dare greatly. Based on twelve years of pioneering research, Brené Brown PhD, MSW, dispels the cultural myth that vulnerability is weakness and argues that it is, in truth, our most accurate measure of courage. Brown explains how vulnerability is both the core of difficult emotions like fear, grief, and disappointment, and the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, empathy, innovation, and creativity. She writes: “When we shut ourselves off from vulnerability, we distance ourselves from the experiences that bring purpose and meaning to our lives.” Daring Greatly is not about winning or losing. It’s about courage. In a world where “never enough” dominates and feeling afraid has become second nature, vulnerability is subversive. Uncomfortable. It’s even a little dangerous at times. And, without question, putting ourselves out there means there’s a far greater risk of getting criticized or feeling hurt. But when we step back and examine our lives, we will find that nothing is as uncomfortable, dangerous, and hurtful as standing on the outside of our lives looking in and wondering what it would be like if we had the courage to step into the arena—whether it’s a new relationship, an important meeting, the creative process, or a difficult family conversation. Daring Greatly is a practice and a powerful new vision for letting ourselves be seen.

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Leadership & Management

**Now on Netflix as The Call to Courage** 'She's so good, Brené Brown, at finding the language to articulate collective feeling' Dolly Alderton Every time we are faced with change, no matter how great or small, we also face risk. We feel uncertain and exposed. We feel vulnerable. Most of us try to fight those feelings - or feel guilt for feeling them in the first place. In a powerful new vision Dr Brené Brown challenges everything we think we know about vulnerability, and dispels the widely accepted myth that it's a weakness. She argues that, in truth, vulnerability is strength and when we shut ourselves off from vulnerability - from revealing our true selves - we distance ourselves from the experiences that bring purpose and meaning to our lives. Daring Greatly is the culmination of 12 years of groundbreaking social research, across every area of our lives including home, relationships, work, and parenting. It is an invitation to be courageous; to show up and let ourselves be seen, even when there are no guarantees. This is vulnerability. This is daring greatly.

Dr. Brené Brown is a research professor at the University of Houston where she holds the Huffington Foundation – Brené Brown Endowed Chair at The Graduate College of Social Work. Brené is also a visiting professor in management at The University of Texas at Austin McCombs School of Business. She has spent the past two decades studying courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy and is the author of five #1 New York Times bestsellers: The Gifts of Imperfection, Daring Greatly, Rising Strong, Braving the Wilderness, and her latest book, Dare to Lead.Brené hosts the Unlocking Us Podcast and the Dare to Lead Podcast. Her TED talk – The Power of Vulnerability – is one of the top five most viewed TED talks in the world with over 50 million views.

How does shame work?

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