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Christopher the Coherent
@coherent
Changing Perspective
If you want to avoid offending someone, you can start by seeing the problem with the other person's point of view and finding out the root cause of the problem, understanding that there may be:
- Many things you don't know about the other person.
- Many things they don't know about you.
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Kali
@kalic664
These are the reasons why you find something offensive
Taking offense
Most of us have felt offended at a remark. However, we have probably also experienced the shock of finding out that others were offended by our comments, even if we had no intention of hurting ...
Three types of expectations
Our expectations are mostly formed in the context of our relationships with others. When they are breached, we tend to feel offended.
- Foreseeability expectations. They drive us to expect others to predict the potentially negative impact of their words and actions: "I did not expect to hear this from my friend."
- Reciprocity expectations. They are based on hoping that our favours or kindness are returned in kind.
- Equity expectations. They are about our desire to be treated fairly and equally.
Taking offense outside personal relationships
We often take offense outside our personal relationships—for example, a comment on Facebook that ridicules or questions something we find important or of value.
We use our values and beliefs to make judgements. Our belief in specific values may be an important part of our identity and explains why we take offense when those values are not respected.
Vihaan Das
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This Is Why Rejection Hurts (And How To Cope)
Don't become sensitive to rejection
We start with this high volume of negative self-talk and criticism that takes the ...
Rejection hurts
Humans are social animals -- which makes rejection all the more emotionally painful.
Anything that keeps us out of the group in an overt way, we're going to have a hard time with. It's an important aspect of who we are.
Identifying the hardest-hit
People whose self-esteem is lower will experience rejection as more painful, and it'll take them a little longer to get over it. Those who have higher self-esteem -- but who aren't narcissists -- tend to be more resilient.
Rejection-sensitive people might think about 'How can I get myself out of this situation?' or how to avoid a situation altogether.
Harper A.
@harzaa11
How to Be Assertive and Stand up for Yourself the Smart Way
Learning to be assertive
Being assertive means learning to manage your energy, plan your approach and craft your message in a way that maximizes potential for the other person, to be open to receiving and accepting it.
...
Acknowledge and don't react
- Make it known you noticed that underhanded insinuation by pausing and directing your attention to it.
- Calmly state you will revisit what they said, the action they took or the decision they made at another point. And you don’t ask it as a question; you make a statement.
Pause and reflect to gain clarity
Give yourself space to come to terms with what you experienced before being able to consider what action to take next.
Get clear on your values. It’s important that you understand within yourself first, the nature and reason behind the battle you choose to fight.
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