Why people take offence

Taking offence is an experience of negative emotions triggered by a word or deed which conflicts with what is expected or believed to be correct, suitable, moral and acceptable behaviour.

This feeling of being offended is deeply rooted in our expectations, which are usually formed in the context of our relationship with others.

• Foreseeable expectations are those which we assume others will know based on our interpersonal relationship with them and feel offended when we see it is breached.
• Reciprocity expectation is a hope that our favors and kind deeds towards someone are repaid by them.
• Equity expectations happen when we want to be treated fairly and equally.

These expectations, values and beliefs are all based on our past experiences.