How To Be More Assertive - Darius Foroux
SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:
Worrying is the mental habit of trying to solve a problem that either can’t be solved or isn’t really a problem.
It gives us the illusion of control. Worrying about it won’t change things. But it will lead to a lot of anxiety.
When we hide our pain and isolate ourselves, we throw away the most powerful antidepressant: loving support from people who care about us.
You don’t need coping strategies when you’re sad discouraged, or helpless. You need people. You need support. You need someone to give you a hug and listen carefully to your story.
Most of us hesitate to push back and stand up for ourselves because we’re afraid of being perceived as aggressive or rude. And so we default to being passive.
But there’s a middle road between being passive and aggressive: You can be assertive. It means standing up for your own wants, needs, and values, in an honest and respectful way.
No matter who you are, where you work, or what your professional goals are, achieving more influence in the workplace is critical for success.
But gaining that influence, like learning a skill, takes time and effort.
Influence is most often and most easily carried through trust: only when a co-worker trusts you will he or she be open to your influence.
The easiest way to do that is to be honest, no matter what. State your opinions, disclose your apprehensions, and don't keep secrets.
Inconsistency is the fastest way to ruin your reputation. Consistency, on the other hand, is slow but sure: if you execute your tasks effectively and on time, day after day, eventually people will come to rely on you.
When we criticize the anger, we are providing fuel to the fire, leading to further aggression on the angry person's part. If we ignore and give in, we are setting a wrong example and the person learns that it is ok and effective to be angry.
Unchecked self-talk can easily turn into self-delusion. The stories we create almost always make you look like the good guy and cannot be termed as objective.