<ul><li>We must first accept the risk that we might well displease them through a candid expression of our being.</li><li>Successful charm relies on a initial secure sense that we could survive social failure.</li><li>We must reconcile ourselves to the risk of not making friends to stand any chance of actually making any.</li></ul>

How To Stop Being A People Pleaser 

"Other people cannot, deep down, ever be very 'other' , and therefore that, in core ways, what one knows about oneself will be the master-key to understanding and getting along with stranger; not in every case, but enough of the time to make the difference."

1) They believe they must agree on everything.<ul><li>Their ritual approval may seem attentive, in truth, it's a version of not listening at all.</li></ul>2) Their praise is ill-targeted<ul><li>Plenty of nice things are being said, but they're not the one we happen to value.</li><li>Everyone loves being praised, but to be praised inaccurately is its own kind of insult.</li></ul>3) Their friendliness is remorselessly upbeat.<ul><li>They only focus on the good parts of our life, ignoring the dark, gloomy, and lonelier side of it.</li></ul>

The Overly Friendly are Guilty of 3 Large Errors

<ol><li>That disagreement isn't necessarily or always terrible.</li><li>That people only wants to be complimented on things they are actively proud of.</li><li>That we are not cheered up not so much by people who say cheery things, as by people who appear to understand us, sympathize with us.</li></ol>

Keep 3 Things Closely in Mind to Properly Please a Person

Friendliness is a great virtue. Over-friendliness can be an unexpected problem. For gifts and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://goo.gl/81j1IR Join our exclusive mailing list: http://bit.ly/2e0TQNJ Or visit us in person at our London HQ: https://goo.gl/NT09Ap vnKbbV FURTHER READING “There is a particularly poignant way to be a social disaster: through over-friendliness, a pattern of behaviour driven by the very best of motives which ends up feeling as irritating as outright rudeness. We meet the over-friendly at the office, laughing at the jokes of the senior management; behind the desk at the hotel, wishing Sir or Madam a highly enjoyable stay and across the table on a first date, lavishly endorsing their would-be partner’s every opinion about recent books and films. …” You can read more on this and other topics on our blog TheBookofLife.org at this link: https://goo.gl/jfPQtO MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE Our website has classes, articles and products to help you think and grow: https://goo.gl/H36P9B Watch more films on Self in our playlist: http://bit.ly/TSOLself Do you speak a different language to English? Did you know you can submit Subtitles on all of our videos on YouTube? For instructions how to do this click here: https://goo.gl/bMELqM SOCIAL MEDIA Feel free to follow us at the links below: vnKbbV Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theschooloflifelondon/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheSchoolOfLife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theschooloflifelondon/ CREDITS Produced in collaboration with: Lois de Silva http://www.loisdesilva.com #TheSchoolOfLife

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Friendliness is a great virtue. Over-friendliness can be an unexpected problem.  For gifts and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://goo.gl/81j1IR
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FURTHER READING

“There is a particularly poignant way to be a social disaster: through over-friendliness, a pattern of behaviour driven by the very best of motives which ends up feeling as irritating as outright rudeness.
We meet the over-friendly at the office, laughing at the jokes of the senior management; behind the desk at the hotel, wishing Sir or Madam a highly enjoyable stay and across the table on a first date, lavishly endorsing their would-be partner’s every opinion about recent books and films.
…”

You can read more on this and other topics on our blog TheBookofLife.org at this link: https://goo.gl/jfPQtO 


MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE

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CREDITS

Produced in collaboration with:

Lois de Silva
http://www.loisdesilva.com #TheSchoolOfLife

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