The Problem with Over-Friendly People

1) They believe they must agree on everything.

• Their ritual approval may seem attentive, in truth, it's a version of not listening at all.

2) Their praise is ill-targeted

• Plenty of nice things are being said, but they're not the one we happen to value.
• Everyone loves being praised, but to be praised inaccurately is its own kind of insult.

3) Their friendliness is remorselessly upbeat.

• They only focus on the good parts of our life, ignoring the dark, gloomy, and lonelier side of it.

1. That disagreement isn't necessarily or always terrible.
2. That people only wants to be complimented on things they are actively proud of.
3. That we are not cheered up not so much by people who say cheery things, as by people who appear to understand us, sympathize with us.