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Intimacy, Honesty and Love

Avoidance Of Intimacy

People think they avoid intimacy as they are scared of becoming closer to other people, and in essence, avoiding showing their true selves to others. They are in effect hiding their true nature and personality from others.

People have to masquerade as someone they are not in order to get what they want and build trust among others, which may not be possible if they show their true selves beforehand.

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Intimacy, Honesty and Love

Intimacy, Honesty and Love

https://medium.com/@johneden/intimacy-honesty-and-love-473a7a2f459e

medium.com

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Key Ideas

Intimacy

  • Intimacy is the key ingredient of love in a relationship. It requires a person to share his or her inner life, including the joys, quirks and vulnerabilities towards their partner and helping them reciprocate the same.

  • Intimacy is deeply connected to empathy and deep understanding so that the partner is able to share a painful experience.

Avoidance Of Intimacy

People think they avoid intimacy as they are scared of becoming closer to other people, and in essence, avoiding showing their true selves to others. They are in effect hiding their true nature and personality from others.

People have to masquerade as someone they are not in order to get what they want and build trust among others, which may not be possible if they show their true selves beforehand.

Open Manipulators

  • Instead of hiding their true intent, Open Manipulators directly demand something which is unconventional or wrong, making their selfishness apparent, and openly disregarding the feelings of the other person, while appearing honest and transparent in the process.
  • Open Manipulators have a fundamental objective which is a selfish need even if it destroys the victim. They speak the truth to the victim but are not honest about their fundamental objective, and the background conditions that only they know. They do not care about the victim’s emotions or well-being and use them simply as a tool to use and discard.
  • When fear, instead of love is used to coerce a victim into doing something they don’t want to do, it is the opposite of intimacy.

A Truly Intimate Society

  • Victims of open manipulators should be loved and cared for, as they often have deep scars, vulnerabilities and traumas that have essentially made them victims in the first place.
  • Open Manipulators should be stopped from doing their thing, by educating potential victims of how these people operate. They should be shunned from society.
  • The ‘normalcy’ of treating human beings as tools should be called out, and it should be clear that this behaviour is abnormal and sick.
  • Taking a stand against the Open Manipulators of the world will play a great role in creating a warmer, safer world for human beings, especially who are fragile.

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  • They lie by omission or distortion by deliberately being vague.
  • They may either respond with charm and flattery, of will suddenly be angry.
  • They'll play the victim and make themselves out to be the one in distress.
  • They rationalize by giving a plausible excuse for engaging in inappropriate behavior, or they will downplay their behavior.
  • Covert aggressives don't feel bad, but they know you do. They will send you on a guilt trip so you will lighten your accusations.
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