We're feeling different griefs

We feel the world is different, and although temporary, we know it will not be the same again.

We feel the fear of economic turmoil and the loss of connection. And we're grieving collectively.

@mbyrne20

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Anticipatory grief is feeling unsure of what the future holds. It is that same feeling when someone gets a grave diagnosis. 

We know there is a storm brewing, and it breaks our sense of safety on a micro and a macro level.

Understand the stages of grief and realize that the stages are not linear.

Denial: The virus won't affect us.
Anger: You're taking away my freedom.
Bargaining: So, if I social distance for two weeks, will everything will be better?
Sadness: I don't know how this will end.
Acceptance: This is happening, and I have to figure out how to move forward.

Acceptance is where power lies. We find control in acceptance. "I can..."

In unhealthy anticipatory grief, we are experiencing anxiety. Our minds look for the worst scenarios. That's our minds being protective.

The goal is not to ignore the worst scenario, but to find a balance in the things you're thinking. If you think of the worst image, also make yourself see the best image.

Notice the present moment. You're okay. You have food. You can breathe deeply.

What your neighbor is doing is not in your control. What is in your control is staying far enough away from them and washing your hands.

But, you should also have compassion. Everyone will be in a different place of fear and grief. It shows up in different ways.

The last stage of grief is meaning. After acceptance, we want something meaningful to come out of those darkest hours.

We start to realize that we can connect through technology. We are not as remote as we thought. We also appreciate the little things, like a walk.

There is something powerful when we name the feeling of grief. It helps us feel what's inside. You don't have to tell yourself that you feel sad but shouldn't feel sad. Just feel sad for a few minutes.

If we allow the feelings to happen, they'll happen in an orderly way, and this empowers us. Then we're not victims.

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RELATED IDEAS

Anticipatory grief

Conventional grief, the kind of grief that occurs after the loss of a loved one, or even loss of one’s dreams, is commonly discussed and understood.

Anticipatory grief is a lesser-known dimension of grief, something which occurs before death (or any great loss).

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We live with the realization that we could lose our loved ones.

Those who are alone in quarantine grieve the loss of all direct human connection. Many are grieving the loss of loved ones who they couldn't touch or even be near at the end.

What to do with emotions

When you feel a strong, tough emotion, don’t run away from it. Understand why you have this emotion and be open to it.

What is the emotion telling you? Notice the emotion for what it is. Be with your emotions with curiosity, compassion and courage. 

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