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How To Be Objective When You're Emotionally Invested

Invite Other Views

When you think you know everything about a subject, it's time to check your views.

Seek out new viewpoints from others. Ask people in a nonthreatening way how their perspectives differ. 'Here's what I'm seeing. Do you see it differently?' Then compare points and see where you might be missing something.

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How To Be Objective When You're Emotionally Invested

How To Be Objective When You're Emotionally Invested

https://www.fastcompany.com/3039453/how-to-be-objective-when-youre-emotionally-invested

fastcompany.com

5

Key Ideas

The Limits of Objectivity

If you think you're really objective, you're wrong. We all like to think we are objective, but the reality is we all have biases that interfere with our ability to evaluate a situation accurately.

If we do not manage these biases, our lack of objectivity may cost us in lost opportunities, money, relationships, and other ways.

Find Your Weak Spots

We leave clues when we're less objective.

If you're getting irritated or highly emotional about a topic, you're probably not thinking rationally or objectively. You might be emotionally invested in the subject or hold particular beliefs that prevent you from looking at other viewpoints.

Seek Out Different Opinions

The best way to become more objective is to broaden the input you're receiving.

Build a network of people you respect who holds different viewpoints from your own. Seek out their opinions on various matters.

Check Your Personality Type

If you're naturally a people pleaser, you may be making decisions partly because you want to avoid unpleasantness with others. It can prevent you from weighing the facts based on their merits.

Invite Other Views

When you think you know everything about a subject, it's time to check your views.

Seek out new viewpoints from others. Ask people in a nonthreatening way how their perspectives differ. 'Here's what I'm seeing. Do you see it differently?' Then compare points and see where you might be missing something.

SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:

Being Fooled By Data
Data can be used to prove anything.
People can be easily convinced by using data that, when analyzed closely, turns out to be dubious, without foundation o...
Made Up Data
  • Data can be easily made up to serve ulterior motives, which are far from the truth.
  • Biased data finds its way out and is generally passed around as facts.
  • Some critical thinking and skepticism are required before any data is accepted for making decisions.
The Narrative Fallacy

People normally create a narrative based on their past and are sure that their predictions will match the way things will work out in the future. This is not usually the case, and it leads to wrong decisions.

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Decision-making rules

Write a clear, objective set of rules to guide future decisions.

It will enable you to make a decision that is detached from the emotion of the moment.

Don't decide alone

Never make an onerous decision by yourself. Tap into the wisdom of the company's internal crowd.

The 'revolving door' approach

... is a technique that relies on using an outside perspective. 

If you're stuck in a big decision, you have to pretend you're a new CEO or a turnaround manager who can "see things more clearly." Adopting a third-person perspective helps you tap into an objective mode of judgment--one based on facts and an understanding of the consequences.

Acknowledge biases

Think critically about your own mentality and what factors could contribute to a subjective decision: How much and how well do you know the other people involved with the decision? What past...

Pro and Con Lists

Take each option in your decision and make two lists for each; on one side, you'll have all the benefits of an option and on the other, you'll have all the downsides. 

Try to give your list a sense of scale. This can help you think through all the positives and negatives of all your options, and help you visualize the generally best candidate.

The outsider's perspective

Imagine your friend telling you the problem using only the most important information, and think about what you might say in return.

Imaging your own advice if you were counseling a friend on making the decision can help you understand what an outsider's perspective might be. 

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Benefits of Being Wrong
  • Accepting vulnerability
  • Embracing a learning mind
  • Opening to new possibilities
  • Prioritizing self-growth over reputation.

We default to being rig...

Decision making and biases

Experts have known for a while that ...

Mental time travel

A common decision-making problem is failing to have enough imagination with regards to what could go wrong or falling victim to simple overconfidence. 

Envision the future. There’s evidence that this exercise can broaden your outlook and highlight problems that might not come to mind otherwise.

Don’t make an important decision

... when you're hungry, or sleepy, or angry.

Research has shown that our susceptibility to bias increases when we’re stressed, whether because of exhaustion, hunger, or a heightened emotional state.

Delaying a crucial decision, if possible, might be preferable to making it under conditions of stress.

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Shape your perspective

Instead of focussing on the negatives in the situation, deliberately discover what is still going right. 

In choosing your perspective you are keeping the problem from consuming you.

Be solution-focused

Break the problems into workable pieces. Ask yourself how you can manage each piece.

Find opportunities

Every crisis presents opportunities for growth. Think how someone else you admire might handle the situation.

How can your crises shape you for the better?

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"Just do it” - not a solution for procrastination

If we repeatedly find ourselves avoiding certain tasks, an underlying problem needs to be addressed.

Once we identify the real cause, we can search for the appropr...

Most common reasons that lead us to procrastinate:

1. We feel like we’re not making progress.

2. We’re not sure where to start.

3. We’re afraid of failing.

4. We dislike the task itself

Hardwired for Stories

We love to tell and listen to stories. The 'Story Narrative' is hardwired in us, as we think and remember in stories.

A strong narrative can be the difference between succes...

Creative Problem Solving

Human beings are able to creatively solve problems, alone or in a group. This has given rise to many inventions, shaping common goals shared by a group of people.

We needed a 'sticky' idea to spread it among people, and the story narrative is exactly that.

Relating To The Characters

Stories cater to our Ego. A listener puts himself in the shoes of the protagonist of a story, and an idea is given emotional heft and sturdiness.

The more we are able to relate to the central character, the more engaging, effective and memorable a story narrative becomes.

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“People seldom refuse help, if one offers it in the right way.”

A. C. Benson.

On Giving Constructive Criticism

Sharing and receiving feedback is necessary for improvement. If you have ideas on how someone can improve, don’t hold your ideas back, share your criticism constructively.

Of course, be sensitive to others’ feelings and offer feedback when you feel the other person is ready to take it. Else, you may come across as imposing your views on others, especially if you repeatedly tell them what to do without them requesting it.

1. Use The Feedback Sandwich

Also known as PIP (Positive-Improvement-Positive), it consists of “sandwiching” a critic between two positive comments in the following manner:

  1. Start by focusing on the strengths — what you like about the item in question.
  2. Then, provide the criticism — things you don’t like and areas of improvement.
  3. Lastly, round off the feedback with (a) a reiteration of the positive comments you began with and (b) the positive results that can be expected if the criticism is acted upon.

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Your brain is the biggest obstacle.
There are lazy people, slackers, and folks who don’t step up, but generally, human beings are hardwired to hang in, not to leave or quit. 

What’s hard for human beings is letting go...

The most common biases
  • You’re focused on the time and energy you’ve already invested, or the sunk cost fallacy.
  • Your eyes are trained on positive cues -being overly optimistic and loss averse. Always trying harder and for longer.
  • When we realize we’re likely to fail at a job or other endeavor, we begin to see that goal as even more valuable than it was initially.
  • FOMO—and the fear of making a mistake.
Do this if you want to quit
  • Get a bead on your emotions. Don’t set yourself up for a “straw-that-broke-the-camel’s back” moment.
  • Motivate yourself. Quitting isn’t an end in and of itself; it’s a pathway to a new destination.

  • Make a plan that not only sets your new goal but anticipates possible setbacks and pitfalls along the way.

  • Prepare for the stress of transition. The best defence is knowing ahead of time how you’re likely to react.