When you’re in an argument, before you disagree, try telling the person you’re speaking with what you heard them say.
When you’re in a disagreement, you are able to repeat what the other person said for only 10 seconds. After that, you go on with your answer or tune out. But it’s important to repeat what was said so they feel acknowledged.
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Certain lines should not be crossed, and it’s important to repair them.
For that, keep in mind you have to validate the other person’s feelings and acknowledge the fact they experience things differently than you do.
We get into arguments because we want to feel that the other person respects what we’re experiencing. Saying "I can see where you’re coming from" is a great form of validation.
When your experience is acknowledged, you feel sane. So even if you don't agree with the other point of view, it helps to acknowledge that there’s another person who experiences the same event very differently from you.
We all know that moment when a relationship fight pushes us over the edge. It's when we wonder how this very same issue that upsets me so much can pop up again.
Dishes left piling up in the sink. Too much time scrolling through social media when we desire quality time. The tone of voice that makes us feel stupid. The personal jabs that leave us feeling raw.
Hard anniversaries, like the birthday of someone we've lost, are helped by routines and rituals. They create a grounding structure with a reassuring and stabilising effect.
There are new trends in the intimate relationship landscape. We want to maintain unclear relationships - too afraid to be alone, but unwilling to fully engage in intimacy building.
This stable ambiguity inevitably creates an atmosphere where at least one person feels constant uncertainty, and neither person feels really appreciated or nurtured.
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