• The pause button. Create a habit of thoughtful action. Train yourself to take a moment to stop and think before you act or speak.
• Volume control. Train yourself to recognise when your volume is starting to go up.
• The tuning dial. As you'd change the film or change the channel, instead of focusing on what you're going to say next, tune in to the other person and listen carefully with the goal to truly understand them.
• Mute. Hit the mute button if the other person is in a highly emotional state because sharing your point of view won't help at that moment.
• Record. As you stay on mute, focus on mentally recording key points they're willing to share to help you learn more about their perspective.
• Playback. Emotionally charged discussions are often rooted in deep-seated issues. Revisit the topic once both parties have had the time to cool down.
• Fast forward. Think about the effects your actions will have in the long run.

But we can control our reactions to those feelings.

By increasing our awareness of emotions and their effects, and then focusing on our thoughts, we can learn to manage our emotional reactions effectively.