How to Fix the Fights You're Sick of Having - Deepstash

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ESTHERPEREL

How to Fix the Fights You're Sick of Having

How to Fix the Fights You're Sick of Having

estherperel.com

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It’s not necessarily a bad thing to fight

Certain lines should not be crossed, and it’s important to repair them.

For that, keep in mind you have to validate the other person’s feelings and acknowledge the fact they experience things differently than you do.

  • The first dynamic of an argument: you gather the information that reinforces your beliefs and neglect information that challenges them.
  • The second dynamic: the negative attribution theoryIf I’m treating you poorly, it’s because I had a bad da...

  • "Holding: the absolute truth: We think that when we say something during a conflict, it is an absolute truth rather than a reflection of an experience. If I feel it, then it must be a fact.
  • Using the words "always" and "never:" ...

When you’re in an argument, before you disagree, try telling the person you’re speaking with what you heard them say.

When you’re in a disagreement, you are able to repeat what the other person said for only 10 seconds. After that, you go on with your answer or tune out....

We get into arguments because we want to feel that the other person respects what we’re experiencing. Saying "I can see where you’re coming from" is a great form of validation.

When your experience is acknowledged, you feel sane. So even if you don't agree with the other point of ...

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