Advice monsters are insatiable - Deepstash
Boost Your Emotional Intelligence

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How to handle conflicts

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Boost Your Emotional Intelligence

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Advice monsters are insatiable

As soon as somebody starts talking, your advice monster wakes up with, "Oh, I'm going to add some value to this conversation!"

Learn to tame your advice monster. To train it, you need to understand it.

499

1.31K reads

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Ways advice-giving goes bad

  • We're solving the wrong problem: The first challenge that shows up is seldom the real issue.
  • Our advice is not nearly as good as we think it is: Cognitive bias makes us think we're brilliant at things even though we aren't.
  • Our advice mons...

628

1.5K reads

Replace your advice monster

The best way to tame your advice monster is to replace it with a new habit of staying curious. Questions that may help you achieve this:

  • Ask the other person what they think is the real challenge? It helps them to find the important issue and prevent...

814

1.41K reads

Your advice monster

Your advice monster

When somebody asks you for advice about something, and before you can gain the full context, your 'advice monster' is like, "Oh, oh, I've got something to say here."

The problem is not with giving advice, but when giving advice becomes your default response.

556

2.51K reads

Three different advice personas

  • The “Tell It” persona: This persona is very loud and convinced that the only way to add value is to have all the answers.
  • The "Save It" persona: This persona is subtle. It tries to convince you that your only job is to rescue everybody. You're not ...

562

1.21K reads

Connecting all three personas

Your advice monster is really saying that you are better than the other person and they are not good enough.

However, you are losing that connection to your humanity, your empathy, your compassion, and your sense of vulnerability.

509

1.15K reads

CURATED FROM

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micee

I like jazz music and bacon. Learning new things is one of my obsessions.

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Ways advice-giving goes bad

  • We're solving the wrong problem: The first challenge that shows up is seldom the real issue.
  • Our advice is not nearly as good as we think it is: Cognitive bias makes us think we're brilliant at things even though we aren't.
  • Our advice mons...

Replace your advice monster

The best way to tame your advice monster is to replace it with a new habit of staying curious. Questions that may help you achieve this:

  • Ask the other person what they think is the real challenge? It helps them to find the important issue and prevent...

Manager's best tool

Your most precious resource is your own time and energy. When you spend it on your team, it helps build healthy relationships.

Your job as a manager isn't to give advice or 'save the day.'' It's to empower your reports to find the answer themselves. If y...

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