That's very accurate. When we are too nice, we... - Deepstash
7 Days of Inspiration

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That's very accurate. When we are too nice, we risk that people take advantage of us. When we are too aggressive, we push people away. But if we're direct and are respectful to people at the same time, we can get much more done together.

Unfortunately, you only become more assertive by being more assertive. You must practice. What helps is to see every social situation as a negotiation.

I highly recommend reading Never Split The Difference by Chris Voss. In fact, I learned the "How am I supposed to do that?" technique from that book. When people give you a proposal you don't like, ask them that question. In my case, I changed it to " What am I supposed to do?"

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In the past, if something like this happened, I would say, "Okay. When can you send someone over?" And then I had to wait. That's classic passivity.

In this world, you have to be assertive to get what you want. You don't have to act like a bully, but you have to be a little demanding. I se...

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In general, there are three types of behavior:

  1. Passive : Indirect, dishonest, does not take control, is nice at all cost, focuses on others.
  2. Assertive : Direct, honest, self-worth, to the point, focuses on the self, respects others.
  3. ...

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If you watch our society, most behavior happens at the extremes. How often do you experience dishonesty at home, with your friends, and at work? It's not always because people have evil intentions. Too often, it's because most people are passive. They are afraid of the confrontation, and instead,...

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But there are also a lot of aggressive people. People say that aggression is becoming more common in the world. I don't know about that, but I do know that no one wants to be around aggressive people.

The middle is where you want to be. You want to be respectful, firm, and not agg...

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Next time you experience a stressful situation or when you must deal with an aggressive person, do the following: Detach from the person and situation. Tell yourself you're observing the situation.

You never want to get emotionally involved. That's the most important thing if you ...

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I paused, detached from the situation, realized it wasn't personal, and said: "What am I supposed to do? Let everything go to waste when it rains? What would you do?"

It went on like that for a while until he finally said, "Alright, fine, I'll come by myself." Two hours later, he ...

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I learned to be assertive from my mother. She always expres...

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  • Before the 1950s, there were well-defined expectations for how people should behave. Women were supposed to be nurturing, but not too assertive. Men were supposed to be assertive but not really nurturing.
  • Around the 1960s, we rebelled as a society against the norms and preferred hu...

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"There is a cult of romanticism. It started in the 18th century, and it basically told people that everybody has a soul mate, everybody has somebody who will cure them of all loneliness.

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