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Habits That Will Leave You Emotionally Exhausted

Overcommitting

Some of us are prone to take on more responsibilities than we can handle. We sign up for more at work, volunteer, and fill our schedules with more activities. We overcommit.

Taking on more responsibilities reduces the chance that any job will get done really well. Not taking on all the opportunities that you encounter may drive you to the fear of missing out (FOMO).

Focus on finding a balance between doing too much and doing too little. It may take time to find a balance, but it will offset the emotional weight added by the stress of doing too much.

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IDEA EXTRACTED FROM:

Habits That Will Leave You Emotionally Exhausted

Habits That Will Leave You Emotionally Exhausted

https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/smashing-the-brainblocks/201909/3-habits-will-leave-you-emotionally-exhausted?collection=1145253

psychologytoday.com

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Key Ideas

Emotional weight

There are certain foods that, when we eat too much of it, will bring health consequences. Similar to how eating certain foods can affect our physical wellness, thinking in specific ways can also have long-term effects on our emotional wellness. We could gain emotional weight, and it can become as tough to lose as body weight.

Emotional weight could consist of a mix of worry, stress, and disappointments. It can restrict our physical activity and make it difficult to feel joy and appreciation, to be open and accessible, and be motivated and engaged. Some common practices can add to our emotional weight and hurt our emotional wellness.

Setting unrealistic expectations

Expectations are our idea of how we think the world should look. This may involve how we should feel, what we should have achieved, and how other people should be treating us.

We could set up expectations that are too high based on arbitrary rules and then become frustrated when we can't meet it.A good rule of thumb is if we are not working diligently toward something, or there is no proof for what we expect, then it may be unrealistic.

Making unfair comparisons

There are advantages to social comparisons, like ensuring that we are reaching certain developmental milestones. But unfair comparisons can cause you to feel inadequate and incompetent.

Online social networks provide a platform for social comparisons. It is important to question the purpose of this kind of contrast. How will comparing yourself to others affect you?

To avoid undervaluing your well-being, make social comparisons that are purposeful and fair.

Overcommitting

Some of us are prone to take on more responsibilities than we can handle. We sign up for more at work, volunteer, and fill our schedules with more activities. We overcommit.

Taking on more responsibilities reduces the chance that any job will get done really well. Not taking on all the opportunities that you encounter may drive you to the fear of missing out (FOMO).

Focus on finding a balance between doing too much and doing too little. It may take time to find a balance, but it will offset the emotional weight added by the stress of doing too much.

SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:

Anchoring Bias

A common occurrence of heuristics in which we use an initial starting point as an anchor that is then adjusted to yield a final estimate or value.

Example: estimating the value of an o...

Being Too Optimistic

People who are told that the risk of something bad happening is lower than they expected, tend to adjust their predictions to match the new information. But they ignore the new information when the risk is higher.

Part of this overly optimistic outlook stems from our natural tendency to believe that bad things happen to other people, but not to us. 

You Often Make Poor Comparisons

Sometimes we make poor comparisons or the compared items are not representative or equal.

We often decide based on rapid comparisons without really thinking about our options. In order to avoid bad decisions, relying on logic and thoughtful examination of the options can sometimes be more important than relying on your immediate "gut reaction."

one more idea

The shortcomings of always comparing yourself to others

Individuals have always had the tendency to compare themselves to others. However, this can only have negative effects on our life: it deprives you of joy, it makes you lose precious time that ...

Tips to overcome the need to compare yourself to others

While comparing yourself to others can cause serious harm to your life, there are some tips you can use in order to avoid this behaviour.

Among these tips, some of the most interesting refer to how to become aware of the negative effects this comparison has on your life, practise gratitude, learn to admire and learn from others or focus on yourself- so you can become a better version of yourself.

Great Results

... are built from small actions that you take every day.

It is your habits that will determine who you are and what you can accomplish in the future.

Start Your Day Early

Wake up early and you can spend some undisturbed time alone and do your most important tasks or get ready for what is coming during the day.

You may feel uneasy and uncomfortable at first, but you need to overcome it and turn it into a habit. Wake up 15 minutes earlier and gradually improve from there can be a good strategy.

Spend 30 Minutes Into Reading

You can do this either in the morning before you start your day or before you sleep at night. Read relevant books that will improve your knowledge or just read personal development books.

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Reach out and stay connected

You may feel too exhausted to talk, ashamed at your situation, or guilty for neglecting certain relationships. But this is just the depression talking

Staying connected to ot...

How to reach out for support
  • Look for support from people who make you feel safe and cared for. They just need to be a good listener.
  • Make face-time a priority. Talking to someone face to face about how you feel can play a big role in relieving depression.
  • Try to keep up with social activities even if you don’t feel like it. 
  • Find ways to support others. 
  • Caring for a pet can get you outside of yourself and give you a sense of being needed.
  • Join a support group for depression. 
Do things that make you feel good

Do things that relax and energize you. This includes following a healthy lifestyle, learning how to better manage stress, setting limits on what you’re able to do, and scheduling fun activities into your day.

Even if your depression doesn’t lift immediately, you’ll gradually feel more upbeat and energetic as you make time for fun activities.

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Willpower is like a muscle

Just like going to the gym and building up strength, the more you train your willpower by accomplishing tasks on a consistent basis

Self-Discipline - a series of healthy habits

Long term change is better served by building better habits, than by forcing your willpower. 

You will choose the apple over the cake for a number of times ... and then give up. Building a habit to start the day by going to the gym will work better.

Habits = “automatic” responses...

 ...to familiar environmental cues. 

They form when you engage in a behavior repeatedly in the presence of consistent stimuli.

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Sabotaging behaviors
  • You are controlling and rigid in the way that others should treat you and are easily disappointed. 
  • You have issues with real intimacy. 
  • You tell yoursel...
Examine your history

This goes back to your childhood. 

For example: if you’re drawn to the excitement of meeting and starting a relationship with someone who has a lack of morals, character and is untrustworthy, try to find out about how your parents’ unhealthy habits have affected your choice in partners.

You are part of the problem

If you have a fear of abandonment and rejection and you are constantly ‘setting’ up scenarios that lead to your disappointment, you are the puppeteer controlling this. 

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Social Comparison Theory

Psychology Today describes social comparison theory as, "... determining our own social and personal self-worth based on how we stack up against others we perceive as somehow faring better or worse...

What Others Think of Us

As a human being interacting with other human beings, we learn that how we show up in the world seems to matter. 

If we have learned through our own social experiences that certain patterns of behavior, such as being extraordinarily busy and constantly on-the-go lead to being successful, connected and accepted by others, then we may find it appealing to engage in those behaviors.

Busy vs. Productive

Merriam-Webster defines the word productive as, "Yielding results, benefits or profits." Essentially, it means that we have something to show for our hard work. 

Being busy has to do with an amount of time, where productivity has more to do with our use of time.

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Structure in times of chaos

Human suffering is often about freedom and constraint. We rebel against too much containment (“I need space!”) or if we have too much freedom, we feel lost in space. Fearful. (“Where did you go?...

Move

Our bodies need to stretch, reach, twist, bend, step, and sweat. It's not about staying in shape. It's about your immune health and mental health.

Build movement in your structure. Try for at least 20 minutes per day.

Nourish

You don't have to ban small treats. However, it is essential to set up a daily structure that fills you with nourishing healthy foods.

Make a dietary change, learn to meal prep, or teach your kids to cook.

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Comparison vs. First Principles Thinking

Comparison Thinking (reason through analogy)

When you make decisions and judgement calls based on what you or others have experienced. An easy mode of thinking but also

Advantages of First Principles Thinking
  • Allows for a more personal, customized mode of thinking and application.
  • A key to doing any sort of systemic inquiry.
  • Even though it does take far more mental energy to work in this mode, the results can be quite staggering.
  • A new and innovative way of thinking.
Applying the First Principles Thinking

Identify the Problem

What is something that I want to change in my life?

Deconstruct the Problem

What are the causes of my problems? How does it affect my life?

Solve the Problem

Start creating your new framework. You could think of multiple ways to achieve your goals easily.

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Start a list of the emotions

Pay attention to your emotions as you start to think about eating (you might feel hungry, or have a craving to eat something). Notice your emotions as you eat, and after as well. 

Pick one emotion to start with

Start with the emotional trigger that occurs most frequently. So if you only have social eating triggers once or twice a week, but you have stress or comfort triggers multiple times a day, choose the latter.

Find a healthy alternative

If the need is a way to cope with stress, you need to find some healthy way of doing that other than eating. If you don’t, then the need will become so strong that you’ll cave and eat.

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