We may sometimes be in situations where a stranger will do something very irritating or discomforting: They may turn up their music too loudly. They may assign us to a hotel room where the air conditioning will have a high pitched whine. In a restaurant, a fly may be floating in the soup.

The actual words don't matter. What counts is the lightness of tone that comes from an impression of the legitimacy or our position. For example:

We're seldom very good at perceiving someone's motives when an incident drives us mad. We see intention where there was none and escalate a situation when the agitated response is not warranted.