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The Fear of Disappointing Others And Past Trauma

Our fear of disappointing others could just be something created because of our childhood, past relationships or some traumatic experience in our lives.

How we react tells us about who we are.

@holdenioo309

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The Fear Of Disappointing Others

If one’s goal is to please everyone, the road then leads directly to failure and disappointment. Even if we are absolutely right, it is a subjective figure in the eyes of others, due to everyone having a different set of values.

Other people, including friends, family and strangers have diverse ideas about what is right or wrong, and nobody can perfectly align with others. The fear of disappointing others can be a powerful negative emotion, that can be a cause of worry for our mental health.

Our comfort zone stands in the way of our growth and learning. The only way to conquer fear is to push yourself into uncomfortable situations.

Even small tasks that make you uncomfortable gets the momentum going towards bigger challenges.

The Attachment theory claims we have different ways of behaving with regards to commitment and intimacy, and this is related largely to our upbringing and life experiences.

One can know the various attachment styles and see where they fit into, having a better understanding of their reactions towards others.

We may want to make people happy but that does not mean we let them mistake our kindness for weakness.

People can take advantage of a person always wanting to please others. Learn to say No and take control of your lives.

We fear others' reactions as if others are going to be disappointed by us on a personal level. The disappointment need not be taken personally as the other person may be upset at the situation or towards the outside world, and how their plan did not work out.

Do not over-analyse the situation, and base your actions on your core values.

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They want to have a backup relationship in case something goes wrong, but in doing so, they are putting their relationship at risk, living a lie, and not dealing with their fear of abandonment in a healthy way.

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IDEAS

Make celebrating birthdays and holidays together a family tradition. You don’t have to do the same thing every birthday or holiday. For instance, you could go to a family member’s favorite restaurant or do their favorite activity on their birthday. You’d be sticking to a tradition, but the activities would be varied.[2]

There is often an underlying fear that prevents us from saying no. Perhaps we fear that we are not good enough. We find the compulsive "yes" might help us feel better. However, we cannot continue living at this pace.

We need to ask ourselves why we continue to do the very things that make us unhappy. Self-restraint and missing out are vital for our well-being.