Bite-sized knowledge
to upgrade
your career

Ideas from books, articles & podcasts.

Giving someone non-specific help

Our loved ones often come to us in a moment of crisis. They're losing their job or need to pay someone back. We sometimes feel we have to give money or bail them out in some form. But after a time or two, you become the consistent rescuer while they continue in their unaccountable ways.
Boundaries can be used to stop the cycle, but not letting those boundaries slip is hard. If you put your foot down on not loaning money, don't give in. The person you're trying to help will ultimately feel more secure if they know you keep your word. You're also a good role model for consistent behavior.

STASHED IN:

130

@paxtonwee

created an idea from a article:

PSYCHOLOGYTODAY

How to Recognize (and Correct) Enabling Behavior

psychologytoday.com

MORE IDEAS FROM THE SAME ARTICLE

How to productively help someone

We cannot control another person's behavior nor change it.

Different forms of enabling behavior

Enabling may accidentally happen when you are trying to help, but after an extended period, you realise that you are really helping.

Helping a loved one

Many people try to help a loved one make significant life changes but fail. They may try to help a spouse quit smoking or get a roommate out of an abusive relationship. They may feel that if they don't help, the person will come to ruin.

Shaming someone and making excuses

It's easy to get frustrated when a loved one keeps damaging themselves. This frustration can make us guilt-tripping them. But shaming someone seldom works.