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We cannot control another person's behavior nor change it.
Enabling may accidentally happen when you are trying to help, but after an extended period, you realise that you are really helping.
Many people try to help a loved one make significant life changes but fail. They may try to help a spouse quit smoking or get a roommate out of an abusive relationship. They may feel that if they don't help, the person will come to ruin.
It's easy to get frustrated when a loved one keeps damaging themselves. This frustration can make us guilt-tripping them. But shaming someone seldom works.
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