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First off, you can't get angry too because then there are two angry people.
Tell yourself they are having a bad day. Don't try to shut them up or talk over them. It doesn't ...
Active listening has three components:
Paraphrase: Repeat what they have said in your own words. "If I understand correctly... "
Inquire: "You mentioned you found our proposed price unacceptable. Help me understand how you came to this conclusion?"
Acknowledge: "It sounds as if you're quite disappointed with..."
Active listening should be maintained throughout the conversation.
It also includes body language:
You don't want to argue over the phone or email as they are stripped of facial expressions and gestures and unwittingly simulating a blank emotional radar.
Don't try changing people, try understanding them.
When you try to change someone they tend to resent you, dig in their heels, and get worse. The way to disengage a difficult person is to try understanding where they are coming from.
When trying to understand difficult people, search for their value language.
A value language is what someone values most. It is what drives their decisions. For some people it is money; for others, it is power or knowledge.
Manipulators become bullies when they intimidate or harms others, and pick on people they perceive as weaker. But standing up to bullies often cause them to retreat.
When a psychological manipulator insists on violating your boundaries, and won’t take “no” for an answer, deploy consequence.
Effectively articulated, consequence gives pause to the manipulative individual, and compels her or him to shift from violation to respect.
Diplomatically but firmly. A well articulated “no” allows you to stand your ground while maintaining a workable relationship.
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