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Straightforward vs. Complicated People
The reason for confusing complexity
The root cause of confusing complexity may come from fear of how an audience might respond if our real intentions are known.
The origins may have started in childhood. A child becomes complicated when they are given the impression that there is no room for their honesty. A child may have received irritation or open anger for their honesty.
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Straightforward people
Straightforward people are easy to be around with because we know exactly what the issues are from the start. There is no need to guess or infer or translate.
If they don't want to do something, they will politely tell you it's not for them. If they are unhappy with your behavior, they will gently tell you how they view the situation.
Complicated people
Complicated people are very unsure about the legitimacy of their own desires, making them unable to let the world know what they really want and feel.
They may initially appear to agree with everything you're saying, but later on, their reservations will become known. They will say they want to join you for dinner but will inwardly ache for an early night. They will give the impression of being happy while crying inside. They will say sorry when they want you to apologize.
The reason for confusing complexity
The root cause of confusing complexity may come from fear of how an audience might respond if our real intentions are known.
The origins may have started in childhood. A child becomes complicated when they are given the impression that there is no room for their honesty. A child may have received irritation or open anger for their honesty.
We don't have to stay complicated
We can change by noticing and growing curious about the origins of our habitual evasiveness. We can realise that no one will shout at us if we reveal our aspirations. Or if they do, we can walk away.
We can also recognise that our complicated behaviour doesn't have the effect of pleasing people. Most people prefer to deal with frustration head on rather than listening to a nice story and then have to suffer disappointment.
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How we manage our indignation
We may sometimes be in situations where a stranger will do something very irritating or discomforting: They may turn up their music too loudly. They may assign us to a hotel room where the air ...
Intentions vs action
When dealing with someone annoying, the way forward is not with silence or rage. We are ideally looking for a way to be polite and honest, or civil and forthright.
To achieve this, we should accept that not everything we desire will please others. We could explore and hold on to what we want nevertheless. At the same time, we should distinguish between what someone does and what they meant to do.
Our idea of a motive
We're seldom very good at perceiving someone's motives when an incident drives us mad. We see intention where there was none and escalate a situation when the agitated response is not warranted.
The less we like ourselves, the more we may appear in our own eyes as plausible targets for mockery and harm. The ideal complaint emerges when we remove the paranoid assumption.
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Talking horizontally and encouraging honesty
Sigmund Freud discovered that there is a remarkable difference between what people will tell you when they are sitting up and looking at you in the eye, and what they will say to you when they ...
When we feel discouraged to speak
We perhaps don't realise that seeing another person's face can discourage us from speaking the truth. We may hold back and edit our presentation in the light of their reactions.
With Sigmund Freud's example in mind, we should find our own forms of horizontal conversation. After dinner, we might suggest that we all go and lie down somewhere and become newly conscious of voices and nuances when we don't have to look at others' expressions.
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Melancholy in the Medieval period
In the Medieval period, melancholic people were said to have been born 'under the sign of Saturn' that is associated with cold, shadow, and death.
But melancholy was also associated...
Melancholy and intelligence
As far as we can associate melancholy with intelligence, the melancholy person keeps fury in check and maintains hope.
- The melancholy mind resists the temptation to respond to insults with fury or vindictiveness but seek justice while steadied by realism.
- Melancholy people do not, like the naive, think that they have to chase after a flawless life. They don't pursue a perfect relationship or job but pay attention to the brighter moments. They can be intensely grateful and make a great deal out of a sunny day.