Forming a faulty deficiency mindset

At a young age, when an expression of a need is disregarded as not as important as the needs of the caretaker, a child may get the message that they are not loved while they have this need.

This causes people to behave in a way they think they should feel, not how they really feel. As adults, they are always influenced by others' opinions and driven by their insecurities and fears of facing themselves.

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Self Improvement

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Abraham Maslow

“One can choose to go back toward safety or forward toward growth. Growth must be chosen again and again; fear must be overcome again and again.”

Abraham Maslow argued that all needs could be grouped into two main classes: deficiency and growth.

  • Deficiency needs are motivated by a lack of satisfaction, such as the lack of food, safety, affection, belonging, or self-esteem. The higher the need, the more we change reality to satisfy the most deficient needs.
  • Growth needs have a different sort of wisdom. Instead of being driven by fears and anxieties, it is more accepting and loving. It is asking, "What choices will lead me to greater integration and wholeness?" rather than "How can I defend myself?"

Goals are grouped into two main clusters:

  • Security Goals: Have well-respected opinions, have many fine things, be admired by others, be well-known to many, be financially successful, find a good, high-paying job.
  • Growth Goals: help those who need it, show affection to loved ones, feel much loved by intimates, be accepted for who I am, help improve the world, contribute something lasting.

When people are under conditions of freedom, they tend to move towards growth. The goal isn’t to become completely growth-oriented and despise security, but under freedom, the balance tips towards growth.

To psychotherapist Carl Rogers, the loneliest state is not the loneliness of social relationships, but a separation from one's own experience. Rogers developed the notion of the "fully functioning person" that is characterized as:

  • Is open to all of the elements of their experience
  • Develops a trust in their own experiences
  • Is accepting of the locus of evaluation that is within themselves
  • Is learning to live their life by participating and discovering new aspects of themselves.

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RELATED IDEAS

Abraham Maslow And The Hierarchy Of Needs

Abraham Maslow, the famous psychologist, had worked on a theory that linked self-actualization to spirituality and self-transcendence.

His Hierarchy Of Needs Pyramid (which was never intended to be a pyramid) familiarized us to the basic human needs like safety, belonging and self-esteem to be a foundation that paves the way for creative pursuits.

The Creativity Post | What Does It Mean to Be Self-Actualized in the…

creativitypost.com

  • The 'Surrender Yourself' model dials up your levels of happiness as you progress from your basic needs (like food and good health) towards your achievements like recognized success, or creative expression. The pinnacle of this human development model is complete surrender.
  • The 'Fully Human' model is a more subjective way of helping you find your own path. When our most important needs like food, shelter, safety, and stability are met, followed by our need to love, belong and connect with others, we then pursue mastery.

There Is No One Way to Live a Good Life

blogs.scientificamerican.com

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