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Chronically Late People Aren't Trying to Annoy or Disrespect You. In Fact, It Has Nothing to Do with You

Chronically Late People

Chronically Late People

While dealing with a chronically late friend or acquaintance, one tends to assume as though the person has disrespected us by not valuing our time. This may not be true.

People who are frequently late can also be optimists or creative individuals who have presence of mind and can think on their feet.

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Chronically Late People Aren't Trying to Annoy or Disrespect You. In Fact, It Has Nothing to Do with You

Chronically Late People Aren't Trying to Annoy or Disrespect You. In Fact, It Has Nothing to Do with You

https://www.inc.com/marla-tabaka/chronically-late-people-are-not-trying-to-annoy-or-disrespect-you-in-fact-it-has-nothing-to-do-with-you.html

inc.com

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Key Ideas

Chronically Late People

While dealing with a chronically late friend or acquaintance, one tends to assume as though the person has disrespected us by not valuing our time. This may not be true.

People who are frequently late can also be optimists or creative individuals who have presence of mind and can think on their feet.

The Three Behavioral Patterns of People That Are Late

Being habitually late has been pointed towards three main categories of behaviour:

  1. Being under the impression that they can multitask and function optimally under pressure.
  2. Being thrilled or fascinated by the constant stream of distractions and trying to participate in the next bright and shiny thing that comes in front of them.
  3. Being unaware of the actual time or not being able to calculate or experience time in the normal way.

Handling The Chronically Late

  1. Become autonomous and act independently in your plans.
  2. Don’t depend on others for travel arrangements.
  3. Do not give others your ticket to a concert or movie.
  4. Take a book with you to get absorbed into while you wait, much better than fidgeting with your smartphone.
  5. Call them once a certain lateness threshold has been crossed.
  6. Make your feelings known but do not criticize them.
  7. Re-evaluate what is there to gain from the relation and what you lose if you let go of the same.

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Narcissistic characteristics
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  • needing constant praise
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The first step in dealing with a narcissistic personality is simply accepting that this is who they are.

Stop focusing on them

Whether it’s negative or positive attention, those with narcissistic personalities work hard to keep themselves in the spotlight.

You might soon find yourself buying into this tactic, pushing aside your own needs to keep them satisfied.

If you must deal with a narcissistic personality, don’t allow them to infiltrate your sense of self or define your world.

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  2. Realize the ways you’re already resilient.

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  7. Find your favorite way to take a mental break.

  8. Be compassionate with yourself and realize all the ways adversity has made you strong. 

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Keep yourself accountable

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Write your goals down, keep a to-do list with you, and create reminders on your phone and on your calendar.

Make yourself accountable to others
  • Tell everyone what you plan to do and talk about your goals. Tell friends, employees, and employers your intentions and you won’t want to let them down. 
  • Start documenting and sharing your journey. A blog or vlog where you share the projects you’re working on and your progress will encourage you to get things done. 
Cut out temptations

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There are tools such as Rescue Time, SelfControl and Focus that will temporarily block access to distracting websites like Facebook. Less aggressive tools such as Facebook Newsfeed Eradicator and Distraction Free Youtube will allow you to have access to Facebook and Youtube but block the distracting parts of these websites (such as the newsfeed).

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Reinforcing People’s Helpfulness
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  • Other-praising: involves acknowledging and validating the character or abilities of the giver;
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The former makes people feel better with themselves and that you are more grateful when compared to the latter.

Reminding People That They Owe You One

If you have to remind someone that they owe you one, chances are they don’t feel as if they do. Reminding them that they owe you a favor both makes the other person feel as if you’re trying to control them and it makes the other person feel as if you’re keeping a scorecard, and that’s fundamentally bad for relationships.

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