Strategic ignorance

Most people tend to visualize themselves as being the same after a decade, mistakenly assuming that the current version of us is our best and last one. We are a work-in-progress with our skills, likes, dislikes change over time, making us completely different from what we think we would be.

There are three main steps that can help us blossom into someone desirable: Distinguishing our various selves, imagining our desired future self, and changing our identity narrative.

• Labelling ourselves into definitive personality types (like an introvert or not being a people’s person) limits our minds and robs us of our space to evolve and change over time.
• We get stuck in the self-labelling and the various ‘accepted truths’ about ourselves that we assume cannot change.

The truth is we are never the same person as we were in the past.

• Brainstorm and jot it down: Start with the prompt, "The time when..." List at least ten things.
• Narrow it down and focus: Go back to your list of ten and pick three things that are really bothering you, and you feel strongly about. Take 30 minutes of uninterrupted time to write. Focus on the details, the order of events, and especially how they made you feel.
• Pick one and tell your story: You don't have to write a memoir or be a creative writer. You can also write it from someone else's perspective. Writing it down is to say that this thing did happen.

The most valuable skill for success in diverse circumstances might be the ability to quickly identify what doesn’t matter. 

Discern what is not of fundamental importance and ignore it.

Successful people know what they don’t need to know and they don’t waste effort trying to learn it.

But most people feel pressure to know a lot of useless stuff because it will save them the embarrassment of ever appearing to not know something.

The extreme adaptability that served us so well in evolution is, today, a source of anxiety: at any given point we could choose one of a million options for our life. But the overwhelming number of options only makes us stressed, depressed and anxious, to the point we choose nothing and simply gaze at possibilities.

Multitasking is basically the act of refusing to prioritize one thing over everything else. It’s non-commitment on a micro-scale.

And when we refuse to commit to a goal, we are ensuring that we do not reach any goal.

While the evidence on the economic and happiness benefits is mixed, attending college depends on the particulars of each person.

A child's gifts, circumstances, and career ambitions all affect whether college is the right choice. But, the parents are often more excited that their child will get into college while the child does not want to be there in the first place. While college is the right choice for many, it is good to remember that there is not just one path to success.

If you are only 90 percent committed to your goal (like following a certain diet, for example) you have to ask yourself and test your commitment multiple times a day.

You end up unable to predict your behaviour, and any future outcomes. By having a loose commitment setting in your mind, you are bound to deal with decision fatigue and see yourself repeatedly fail, lowering your confidence.

When the commitment is 100 percent, your future behaviour is already set in stone, with no back-and-forth struggle and revisiting of the decision-making condition.

When your best friend offers you a Coke, you know very well that the decision to not have anything like that is already made, and it is easy to say no.

Most people keep planning, visualizing and imagining their future life as if they are watching some other person live it. That person is you. If you intentionally live each day, perfecting and maximising your vision of the future, instead of killing time or just living a bread and butter, day-to-day existence, you steer your life towards the direction you want.

We need to act like the person we wish to become, as we are what we do all day.

• Nutrition: We are what we eat, and having a good nutritious diet, full of green vegetables, nuts and seeds goes a long way. Avoid processed foods at any cost.
• Oxygen: or fresh air is a primary need of the brain. Any daily exercise routine is best for brain health.
• Information: The brain needs information to process, preferably high quality and diverse. Active learning, along with continuous mental challenges that get the cylinders firing is the way to nourish the brain and form connections. True learning reframes our entire mental model and helps the brain evolve.
• Love: What keeps us happy and healthy is good, loving relationships, and the care and touch of loved ones.

The idea behind BAT is that we have to do happy to feel happy. Instead of our mood changing what we do, we need to change what we do to fix our mood. The first principle of BAT is to change what you do. Engage in the right activities and positive feelings will follow.

We can't wait until we feel better before we act. Emotions perpetuate themselves. We have to move now and break the cycle of our feelings. This is how we grab hold of happiness.

• Pleasure is vital, but we want the kind that will last and not leave you even more stressed than before you started. We're looking for a deeper satisfaction that comes from truly meaningful activities like relationships, exercise, and reading.
• Mastery can be thought of as a feeling of accomplishment. Progress in goals that are meaningful to you, whether it pays the bills or not.

Create a balance between leisure activities and mastery.

Decisions are a cost-benefit analysis of risking something small for the opportunity to gain something big.

• Good decisions can be: Exercising, meditating for 10 minutes daily, finding the courage and striking up a conversation with someone, applying for jobs that you may or may not get.
• Bad decisions can be: lying or pretending to someone, driving unsafely, sending angry text messages, or staying up late drinking before an important meeting or exam in the morning.

Trade-offs are not something as simple as flipping a coin. Our values guide us towards what we want in life, and it is not the same for all. Example: Buying a house has a trade-off of mortgage for the next ten or more years. This is subjective and depends on what we value in life.

Indecisive people suffer because they don’t know their inner values and what they care about.