Why Playing the Blame Game in Your Relationship Doesn’t Work - Mindful
Whenever something doesn't go as we planned it, we often look for something or someone to put the blame. It's our primal instinct and it's a habit that can make us difficult to deal with.
There are many reasons as to why we "play" the blame game. It could either be because it's easier to blame someone else than to accept responsibility or because it's an excellent defense mechanism.
SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:
This isn’t just false modesty or fishing for reassurance; some people do believe that they cause every bad thing all or most of the time.
Blaming yourself when something goes wrong might, relates to a general tendency to make internal attributions for failure in which you see yourself as inept, foolish, or irresponsible. That tendency might motivate you to attribute your successes to external factors, such as fate, chance or luck, as well.
Theoretically, anyone who intentionally practices an immoral act is culpable regardless of the consequences. But in most cases, people sign up for what is called “moral luck”.
Moral luck is the belief that you should hold someone to blame only if the action causes harm to others, not for their intent, and according to it, those whose actions bring harm are more culpable.
Blame and biases — such as hindsight bias — give us a convenient story about what happened in any negative situation. To the extent that a story feels comfortable, we believe that it's true but whe...
Most companies conduct postmortems at a project’s end to analyze and outline the factors that contributed to its failure. But this reflection, examination and evaluation might not be as useful as most wait for failures to conduct them and stop the analysis once the guilty are identified.
Failures don't happen frequently enough to learn at the rate that’s needed to really thrive in a competitive environment. Learning reviews, on the other hand, aim to gather information and can be conducted after each experiment or iteration allowing improvements regardless of successes.
To extract a full account of the incident, remove blame and punishment on an organizational level from your retrospectives. You get there easier by reducing the fear and biases that creep in during the investigation of failures, and by choosing reconciliation and immunity over retribution.
Often, the conditions that lead to the negative outcome would still be there even if you removed the guilty individuals. And if the guilty are fired, you lose those who are better placed to help you learn from the incident.
When we are stalking our exes on social media, we will find something we don’t want to see. But the subsequent feel of your heart dropping and the jealousy aren’t conducive to getting over your heartbreak.
Burn all cyber-bridges - limiting your access to your ex will automatically make you feel better.
The emotional pain of a breakup often results in your body pumping itself full of cortisol, which suppresses the immune system and affects coping mechanisms.
The first step in fixing the problem is understanding that it is normal, according. So if the littlest things are making you cry, take a moment to recognize that it is most likely caused by your body's response to the breakup.