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Taking offense outside personal relationships
We often take offense outside our personal relationships—for example, a comment on Facebook that ridicules or questions something we find important or of value.
We use our values and beliefs to make judgements. Our belief in specific values may be an important part of our identity and explains why we take offense when those values are not respected.
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Taking offense
Most of us have felt offended at a remark. However, we have probably also experienced the shock of finding out that others were offended by our comments, even if we had no intention of hurting them.
We take offense at explicitly rude language directed at us. We also take offense a...
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Avoid causing offense
If you are not sure if you will cause offense, try to put yourself in the shoes of the people you are talking to. Ask yourself if you are saying what they would realistically expect you to say and if you are treating them fairly.
If you feel you take offense too qu...
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Three types of expectations
Our expectations are mostly formed in the context of our relationships with others. When they are breached, we tend to feel offended.
- Foreseeability expectations. They drive us to expect others to predict the potentially negative impact of their word...
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Discovering Your Personal Values
Many adopt values from other pre-packaged sources, like a religion, culture, or legal system. But, by adopting a value system without reflection, you make way for personal values that cause conflict between your perceived beliefs and the actions you take.
To find your own values:
Personal Or Core Values
They are what you consider most important in your life, literally what you “value. ” They are broad concepts that can be applied across a wide range of circumstances, as opposed to narrow answers to specific questions.
If you are conscious of them or not, you have values for every part of y...
Use job crafting
... to connect your work to a clear purpose or intention. The main reason we can’t find Flow at work is because our goals aren’t clear. Job crafting consists of looking at your job at multiple levels—task, relationships, identity—and adjusting each one to find more purpose.
For examp...
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