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Listening requires mental work

We mistake listening as easy because it looks passive and instinctive, but in reality it’s hard work. Really listening (and not just appearing to listen) requires intense concentration and a good deal of mental energy.

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  • Asking great questions;
  • Playing attention to the nonverbal communication;
  • Forgoing taking detailed notes to pay better attention;
  • Listening with the intent to understand, not the intent to respond;
  • Making people feel heard;
  • Following up on what ma...

Our general tendency is to:
  • Evaluate: We judge what someone is saying and agree or disagree.
  • Probe: We ask questions from our own frame of reference.
  • Advise: We give counsel, advice, and solutions to problems.
  • Interpret: We analyze others' motives and behavi...

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Is a technique for developing our ability to listen, to make a conscious effort to understand what people are really saying.

As a communication technique, it is used in many professional settings (counseling, training, therapy) but is also valuable for everyday life.

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THE ART OF LISTENING

Listening is perhaps the most important and the most difficult part of having a healthy conversation. The main reason why most people struggle with being good listeners is because of their ego and impatience.

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Stephen R. Covey

“Seek first to understand, then to be understood.”

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