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How to Master the Art of Listening
Listening is the unsung hero of communication. We love to praise great orators and recite lines from famous speeches, and rightly so. Words are powerful. But listening can be equally so.If you improve your listening skills, you'll probably never win an award for it or make it into...
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Listening requires mental work
We mistake listening as easy because it looks passive and instinctive, but in reality it’s hard work. Really listening (and not just appearing to listen) requires intense concentration and a good deal of mental energy.
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Mistakes we make in conversations
Our general tendency is to:
- Evaluate: We judge what someone is saying and agree or disagree.
- Probe: We ask questions from our own frame of reference.
- Advise: We give counsel, advice, and solutions to problems.
- Interpret: We analyze others' motives and behaviors based on our own experiences.
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What makes a great listener
- Asking great questions;
- Playing attention to the nonverbal communication;
- Forgoing taking detailed notes to pay better attention;
- Listening with the intent to understand, not the intent to respond;
- Making people feel heard;
- Following up on what matters.
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SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:
Active listening, as the name implies requires effort. It is much more than simply "hearing" what is being said. This article will show you how to improve your listening skills to make you a better conversationalist, and a more empathetic friend, spouse, parent or partner.
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Active listening
Is a technique for developing our ability to listen, to make a conscious effort to understand what people are really saying.
As a communication technique, it is used in many prof...
Core components of Active Listening
- Comprehending: To communicate, we must first understand what the other person (or people) are actually saying.
- Retaining: To respond in an appropriate manner, we must understand and retain what the other person has said.
- Responding: An active response should show that we understand what the other person has said, have paid attention to their words and also read their non-verbal cues.
Improving Active Listening skills
- Educate yourself on common cognitive biases and shortcuts;
- Avoid trying to respond immediately. Allow the other person time to finish speaking, then provide a considered response;
- Minimize conversational narcissism by keeping track of your use of pronouns(I, me);
- Seek to develop a clear picture of the other person’s logic;
The most neglected work of leadership is listening. The reason? It's hard work. If leadership is about others, listening is about leadership. 4 reasons you hate to listen: A squirrel's attention span. Busy leaders look like squirrels caught in traffic. Dripping faucets. Nagging issues drip in the back of your mind.
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The 5 Purposes Of Listening
- Listening makes people feel like they matter, which in turn makes them work harder.
- Arrogance talks. Humility listens. Practice humility by letting others speak.
- Listen to help others learn what they really think and find clarity.
- Listen to understand what needs to be acted upon.
- Curiosity. Listen to ask a question.
4 Reasons You Hate To Listen
- An attention span compromised by excess of stimulation.
- Nagging issues take over your mental space leaving little space for listening.
- Lack of empathy makes you ignore how other people feel when they are not heard.
- Conversational dominance and impatience.
I like to think of the way we speak with one another as the "Art of Communication." There are courses taught on this subject, but it seems to be geared towards strengthening public speaking and writing skills, which is great if you're going into public speaking.
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The Art of Communication
Talking to another person mindfully should be because you're wanting to "connect" with whomever you're speaking with from a place that is present, kind and respectful.
We have the oppo...
Bring out the "best of yourself"
Make a conscious effort to bring out the best in someone else through your communication.
This makes communicating less "me-centric," which is talking to hear yourself talk, or talking "at" someone rather than "with" them, or being more interested in wanting to "capture" their attention for some kind of pay off.
Painting with words
Consider communication as an empty canvas to paint with words, think of all of the wonderful and beautiful things you can say to another person.
It's helpful to know that what we say to someone else, might not be what we would want said to us.