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Know where you stand on the introvert-extrovert spectrum

Know where you stand on the introvert-extrovert spectrum

  • If you’re an extrovert and find yourself talking too much, try to shift the focus on asking more questions. 
  • If you’re an introvert, ask yourself whether you’re speaking enough and giving the other person enough information about yourself to help them feel connected to you.

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Ask open-ended questions

Ask open-ended questions

Those that require more than a “yes” or “no” answer, are the best type of questions to ask if you’re looking to establish common ground. 

Just be careful not to overdo your questioning. You don’t want the other person to feel like they’re being interrogated.

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Avoid oversharing

Keep your personal anecdotes short and sweet, focusing more on the other person’s stories than your own. 

To find out if you’re speaking too much, leave out some details of the story, to see if they’re really interested in hearing more. If they don’t respond, turn the focus of the co...

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Mindsets around new conversations

Go into a situation where you will need to speak with people with the mindset of, "I am curious and I want to learn more about other people", rather than going into it with the mindset of, "Oh no, I’m going to have to talk about myself a lot".

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Listen with intent

Listen with intent

The best conversationalists aren’t those who always have witty things to say, but those who are genuine listeners. 

Good listeners don’t just listen with their ears, but with their whole body. They lean into the conversation, establish eye contact, and provide their undivided attenti...

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Friend of animals everywhere. Hardcore internet enthusiast and avid reader.

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The Stranger On The Subway: Asking Questions

  • Asking more questions, especially follow-up questions, is more than just for gathering information. 
  • They help create deep, emotional bonds and make the other person feel better as they are being listened to, understood, validated and cared for.
  • Most people don’t ask enough q...

If you want to think better...

  • Become better at probing other people’s thinking. Ask questions. Simple ones are better. “Why” is the best.
  • Slow down. Make sure you give yourself time to think.
  • Probe yourself. Try and understand if you’re talking about something you really know ...

Ways to deal with an introvert hangover

Ways to deal with an introvert hangover

An introvert hangover can leave you too exhausted to deal with people IRL, and can last anywhere from a few hours to a few days or more. If you experience the latter, Dr. Dow says you really know you overdid it and seriously need to prioritize some alone time. An introvert hangover can even make ...

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