Ending the friendship

Sometimes a friendship can become so painful or unhealthy that we need to end it.

But we often don't have clear guidance or formulas to make these decisions. Our negative emotions drive our thoughts and may cause us to make poor decisions and lose relationships we could have kept.

You likely have a stronger need for closeness in your relationships. You desire a "best friend" and confidante. You may be overly attuned to subtle cues that you are left out.

You become very involved in a person's life, but your friends may not reciprocate when you are in...

You may have friends who complain that they are there for you, but you don't reciprocate or reach out enough. You are social but feel exhausted by the amount of emotional interaction that some of your friends need.

Try using the "consistent, available, warm, and respon...

We commonly form attachment bonds with a friend. Although we don't talk about it, we do have unspoken psychological expectations when our friends become attachment figures.

The indicator of a secure attachment figure is that s/he is consistent, available, warm, and respons...

Don't sit and wait for a text or phone call. Get busy in your own life. Make plans and fill your day.

If you can't stop hurting, consider whether the pain is partially an emotional memory from previous painful events that you have not dealt with.

• Try to be honest with the person. Do it with kindness and just talk about your own emotional availability. "I realize that I'm not a good friend right now. I just don't feel very emotionally available."
• Try to avoid "all or nothing" thinking. Frien...