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Loneliness is forced solitude

Solitude is easy to enjoy if it is a choice, but isolation becomes unbearable when you lack control over your situation.

You can regain enjoyment when you regain some control: Simply improve your social life directly. But for some people, this process is slow or difficult. In that case, it helps to gain control by improving your inner world.

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Three main ways to build the foundation of your inner life is:

  • Build order: Build a routine centred around activities you care about, to turn isolation into enjoyable solitude. This can be done by creating habits for your exercise, personal projects,...

When Francis Bacon wrote, "whosoever is delighted in solitude is either a wild beast, or a god," he meant that people despise being alone.

It is impossible to avoid aloneness in life entirely, so it's useful to have a strategy to find joy in those moments.

Learning to enjoy solitude can give you an inner calm and independence that means you won't feel desperate to stay in any friendship or relationship that doesn't fulfil you.

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