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How to Control Your Emotions at Work: Know When to Act or Ignore
Emotional Intelligence
The ability to monitor one's own and others' feelings and emotions to discriminate among them and to use this information to guide one's thinking and actions. -Salovey and Mayer (1990)
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A Zen Parable
There was a man riding on a horse. When a man walking on the road asks him where he is going, the rider replies, “Why are you asking me? You should ask the horse.”
The horse represents our emotional lives. We let the 'horse' take us to where it wants it to take us, especially if we feel afraid, nervous, etc. But little did we know that we have control. You begin to have influence on your horse once you master your emotions.
Emotional Mastery
It manifests itself in the kind of statements we make about ourselves, in relation to our emotional skills and success.
Qualities such as confidence, awareness and optimism, come under the umbrella of emotional intelligence.
3 Steps to Emotional Intelligence
- Attention Training: Strengthen mindfulness by focusing on yourself without being interrupted by other thoughts.
- Self-Knowledge and Self-Mastery: Being aware of the changes in your emotional processes and being able to see an emotion arising.
- Create Useful Mental Habits: Generate more positive emotions in others, by practicing a more pleasant emotional posture toward other people
Emotional Intelligence for managers
The best managers have a high level of emotional intelligence, because they love people, and people love them in return.
People work harder for you if they love you, that's why being loved is good for your career.
Learn Emotional Intelligence
Emotional intelligence is trainable - you train your brain.
Thanks to neuroplasticity, what you do, what you think and what you pay attention to changes the structure of the brain. So it is possible to change how your brain works.
Useful Mental Habits
- Intentional Kindness: Looking at every person and saying to yourself, “I want everyone to be happy.” If you are thinking that, you will unconsciously show it with your manner, which transmits unconscious messages to everyone you work with that pleasantly disposes them toward you.
- Human Similarity: Seeing other people as people. This is especially useful in a situation of conflict ("This is a human being, just like me, wants to be happy, just like me and wants to be free from suffering, just like me").
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Gain Control Over Your Mood
- Label Your Emotions: There are times that you might feel different emotions. Pay attention to what's really going on inside you to help you take a lot of sting out of that em...
Mood Control = Positive Outlook
Emotions are powerful and managing it is tough at times. But by gaining control over them makes you mentally stronger.
You'll gain confidence in your ability to handle discomfort while also knowing that you can make healthy choices that shift your mood.
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Emotions
They are basal responses that begin in the subcortical areas of the brain responsible for producing biochemical reactions to environmental stimuli that have a direct impact on our physical state.&n...
Feelings
Feelings are preceded by emotions and tend to be our reactions to them. Emotions are a more generalized experience across humans, but feelings are more subjective and influenced by our personal experiences and interpretations, thus they are harder to measure.
Negative Emotions
They can be defined as unpleasant or unhappy emotions evoked in individuals to express a negative effect towards something.
Although some are labeled negative, all emotions are normal to the human experience. And it’s important to understand when and why negative emotions might arise, and develop positive behaviors to address them.
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Get Your Emotions in Check
- Practice mind control and master it! Get rid of bad thoughts; they will just constantly remind you badly of yourself. Instead, use that flaw as an inspiration to train yourse...