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How to Control Your Emotions at Work: Know When to Act or Ignore
Emotional Intelligence
The ability to monitor one's own and others' feelings and emotions to discriminate among them and to use this information to guide one's thinking and actions. -Salovey and Mayer (1990)
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A Zen Parable
There was a man riding on a horse. When a man walking on the road asks him where he is going, the rider replies, “Why are you asking me? You should ask the horse.”
The horse represents our emotional lives. We let the 'horse' take us to where it wants it to take us, especially if we feel afraid, nervous, etc. But little did we know that we have control. You begin to have influence on your horse once you master your emotions.
Emotional Intelligence
The ability to monitor one's own and others' feelings and emotions to discriminate among them and to use this information to guide one's thinking and actions. -Salovey and Mayer (1990)
Emotional Mastery
It manifests itself in the kind of statements we make about ourselves, in relation to our emotional skills and success.
Qualities such as confidence, awareness and optimism, come under the umbrella of emotional intelligence.
Learn Emotional Intelligence
Emotional intelligence is trainable - you train your brain.
Thanks to neuroplasticity, what you do, what you think and what you pay attention to changes the structure of the brain. So it is possible to change how your brain works.
3 Steps to Emotional Intelligence
- Attention Training: Strengthen mindfulness by focusing on yourself without being interrupted by other thoughts.
- Self-Knowledge and Self-Mastery: Being aware of the changes in your emotional processes and being able to see an emotion arising.
- Create Useful Mental Habits: Generate more positive emotions in others, by practicing a more pleasant emotional posture toward other people
Useful Mental Habits
- Intentional Kindness: Looking at every person and saying to yourself, “I want everyone to be happy.” If you are thinking that, you will unconsciously show it with your manner, which transmits unconscious messages to everyone you work with that pleasantly disposes them toward you.
- Human Similarity: Seeing other people as people. This is especially useful in a situation of conflict ("This is a human being, just like me, wants to be happy, just like me and wants to be free from suffering, just like me").
Emotional Intelligence for managers
The best managers have a high level of emotional intelligence, because they love people, and people love them in return.
People work harder for you if they love you, that's why being loved is good for your career.
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Gain Control Over Your Mood
- Label Your Emotions: There are times that you might feel different emotions. Pay attention to what's really going on inside you to help you take a lot of sting out of that em...
Mood Control = Positive Outlook
Emotions are powerful and managing it is tough at times. But by gaining control over them makes you mentally stronger.
You'll gain confidence in your ability to handle discomfort while also knowing that you can make healthy choices that shift your mood.
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Happiness
Happiness and satisfaction are subjective concepts – while for some of us monetary benefits can be equated with job satisfaction, some might strive for recognition of their hard-work and los...
Workplace Happiness defined
In a fundamental sense, workplace happiness comes when:
- We enjoy doing the tasks assigned to us
- We feel right about the people we are working with
- We are happy with the financial benefits we get from the job
- We have the scope of improving our existing skills
- We feel respected and acknowledged at work
Importance Of Happiness At Work
Happy employees are compulsory for a growing business.
A study on organizational success revealed that employees who feel happy in the workplace are 65% more energetic than employees who don’t. They are two times more productive and are more likely to sustain their jobs over a long period of time.
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Emotional intelligence
It's the ability to accurately perceive your own and others’ emotions, to understand the signals that emotions send about relationships, and to manage your own and others’ emotions.&nbs...
The 5 components of EI
- Self-Awareness: understanding of one’s emotions.
- Self-Regulation: it frees us from being prisoners of our feelings.
- Motivation: having an intrinsic desire to achieve things.
- Empathy: the ability to understand emotions of other people.
- Social Skill: the ability to build rapport and manage relationships.
There are 3 types of empathy:
- Emotional empathy: “You feel awful? Then I feel awful too!”
- Cognitive empathy: “I understand that you are feeling awful. That must suck.”
- Compassion: “You feel awful? I feel for you. How can I help?”
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