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How to Control Your Emotions at Work: Know When to Act or Ignore

https://zapier.com/blog/control-your-emotions/

zapier.com

How to Control Your Emotions at Work: Know When to Act or Ignore
It turns out that you can train yourself to better understand your own emotions, control them and make other people want to work with you more.This sort of training creates more successful employees and managers. So much so that Google sponsored a program to help increase the emotional intelligence...

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A Zen Parable

There was a man riding on a horse. When a man walking on the road asks him where he is going, the rider replies, “Why are you asking me? You should ask the horse.”

The horse represents our emotional lives. We let the 'horse' take us to where it wants it to take us, especially if we feel afraid, nervous, etc. But little did we know that we have control. You begin to have influence on your horse once you master your emotions.

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Emotional Intelligence

The ability to monitor one's own and others' feelings and emotions to discriminate among them and to use this information to guide one's thinking and actions. -Salovey and Mayer (1990)

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Emotional Mastery

It manifests itself in the kind of statements we make about ourselves, in relation to our emotional skills and success.

Qualities such as confidence, awareness and optimism, come under the umbrella of emotional intelligence. 

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3 Steps to Emotional Intelligence

  • Attention Training: Strengthen mindfulness by focusing on yourself without being interrupted by other thoughts.
  • Self-Knowledge and Self-Mastery: Being aware of the changes in your emotional processes and being able to see an emotion arising.
  • Create Useful Mental Habits: Generate more positive emotions in others, by practicing a more pleasant emotional posture toward other people

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Emotional Intelligence for managers

The best managers have a high level of emotional intelligence, because they love people, and people love them in return.

People work harder for you if they love you, that's why being loved is good for your career

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Learn Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence is trainable - you train your brain. 

Thanks to neuroplasticity, what you do, what you think and what you pay attention to changes the structure of the brain. So it is possible to change how your brain works.

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Useful Mental Habits

  1. Intentional Kindness: Looking at every person and saying to yourself, “I want everyone to be happy.” If you are thinking that, you will unconsciously show it with your manner, which transmits unconscious messages to everyone you work with that pleasantly disposes them toward you.
  2. Human Similarity:  Seeing other people as people. This is especially useful in a situation of conflict ("This is a human being, just like me, wants to be happy, just like me and wants to be free from suffering, just like me").

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Gain Control Over Your Mood

  • Label Your Emotions: There are times that you might feel different emotions. Pay attention to what's really going on inside you to help you take a lot of sting out of that em...

Mood Control = Positive Outlook

Emotions are powerful and managing it is tough at times. But by gaining control over them makes you mentally stronger.

You'll gain confidence in your ability to handle discomfort while also knowing that you can make healthy choices that shift your mood.

Emotional Intelligence Matters

EQ is not only the ability to identify and manage your own emotions, but it’s also the ability to recognize the emotions of others.

Manage your negative emotions

When you’re able to manage and reduce your negative emotions, you’re less likely to get overwhelmed. 

If someone is upsetting you, don’t jump to conclusions. Instead, allow yourself to look at the situation in a variety of ways. Try to look at things objectively so you don’t get riled up as easily. 

Be mindful of your vocabulary

Emotionally intelligent people tend to use more specific words that can help communicate deficiencies, and then they immediately work to address them. 

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Use assertive communication

Assertive communication allows us to take responsibility for ourselves and our actions without judging or blaming other people.

Emotionally intelligent people know how to communicate ...

Respond instead of reacting

The emotionally intelligent person knows how to stay calm during stressful situations. 

They don't make impulsive decisions and understand that in times of conflict the goal is a resolution.

Utilize active listening skills

Emotionally intelligent people make sure they understand what is being said before responding. 

They also pay attention to the nonverbal details of a conversation. This prevents misunderstandings, allows the listener to respond properly and shows respect for the person they are speaking to.