Replace "I can't. I don't know. I hate to bother you."
- Rather than saying "I can't" when you're declining a request, try "here's what I can do for you." This way you'll set a boundary about what you're not willing or able to do and indicating a willingness to find a solution.
- When you don't know something, instead of shrugging off the inquiry, say, "I'll find out for you."
- When you start a request with "I hate to bother you..." you've assumed that you're creating a burden. Instead, assume it is not a problem and drop this from your language.
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