"Can you..." - Deepstash
A Job Seeker's Guide

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A Job Seeker's Guide

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"Can you..."

  • Assume there is no problem in asking for a favor and drop "I hate to bother you..." from your language. Just ask for what you need and assume that the person will let you know if the request is too much and respectfully decline.

305

919 reads

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"I‘ll find out"

"I‘ll find out"

  • Instead of just shrugging off an inquiry about a topic you don't know much about, say “I’ll find out for you,”
  • This gives the other person an assurance that you care enough to go one step further to get the right answer.

316

945 reads

"Let‘s solve this"

"Let‘s solve this"

Instead of saying, “We’re going to address this situation . . . ” try words like solve, fight against, or reduce, which communicate action. Other swaps to consider that are more meaningful and decisive:

  • Instead of “allowed,” try enabled or authorized
  • ...

307

795 reads

"I‘m glad you like it"

  • For some people, dismissing praise is a knee-jerk response. If they receive a compliment, they water it down by saying, “It was nothing . . .” or “It could be better . . .” Those responses not only make light of your work and ability, but they are dismissive of the person gi...

318

778 reads

"I‘m happy I was able to help"

  • There’s nothing wrong with saying “you’re welcome” when someone thanks you. But saying something like “I’m happy I was able to help you” is more powerful because it leaves a positive impression with the individual that you went the extra mile to help

321

818 reads

"I want to help"

"I want to help"

  • Telling someone to calm down is almost a guarantee that they will do anything but calm down.
  • Instead, try validating the individual’s feelings and assuring them you understand. “I can see you are upset, and I want to help” is a good option.

308

742 reads

"Here‘s what I can do for you"

  • Rather than saying "I can’t" or "I’m not able to" when you’re declining a request, focus on the positive
  • Instead try, “Here’s what I can do for you.” That way, you’ve set a boundary with your client or colleague about what you’re not able or willing to do, but you’ve...

360

1.41K reads

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More like this

Replace "I can't. I don't know. I hate to bother you."

  • Rather than saying "I can't" when you're declining a request, try "here's what I can do for you." This way you'll set a boundary about what you're not willing or able to do and indicating a willingness to find a solution.
  • When you don't know something

2. Ask With Expectation It Will Be Granted

If you believe you are putting them out of their way too much, then do not ask it. This means you do not believe you will get what you want. 

Mentality matters and people realise this when you are asking for something. If you ask thinking it is too much, then the person will assume the same...

Failure to Actually Ask

Failure to Actually Ask

Failure to clearly and explicitly ask for what you need is a common reason why people don’t help.

In many research and practice, most people are willing to help, but they don’t know what you need and can’t help until you tell them. An effec...

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