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"I want to help"
- Telling someone to calm down is almost a guarantee that they will do anything but calm down.
- Instead, try validating the individual’s feelings and assuring them you understand. “I can see you are upset, and I want to help” is a good option.
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736 reads
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"Let‘s solve this"
Instead of saying, “We’re going to address this situation . . . ” try words like solve, fight against, or reduce, which communicate action. Other swaps to consider that are more meaningful and decisive:
- Instead of “allowed,” try enabled or authorized
- ...
303
788 reads
"I‘ll find out"
- Instead of just shrugging off an inquiry about a topic you don't know much about, say “I’ll find out for you,”
- This gives the other person an assurance that you care enough to go one step further to get the right answer.
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939 reads
"I‘m glad you like it"
- For some people, dismissing praise is a knee-jerk response. If they receive a compliment, they water it down by saying, “It was nothing . . .” or “It could be better . . .” Those responses not only make light of your work and ability, but they are dismissive of the person gi...
315
772 reads
"Here‘s what I can do for you"
- Rather than saying "I can’t" or "I’m not able to" when you’re declining a request, focus on the positive
- Instead try, “Here’s what I can do for you.” That way, you’ve set a boundary with your client or colleague about what you’re not able or willing to do, but you’ve...
357
1.4K reads
"Can you..."
- Assume there is no problem in asking for a favor and drop "I hate to bother you..." from your language. Just ask for what you need and assume that the person will let you know if the request is too much and respectfully decline.
301
911 reads
"I‘m happy I was able to help"
- There’s nothing wrong with saying “you’re welcome” when someone thanks you. But saying something like “I’m happy I was able to help you” is more powerful because it leaves a positive impression with the individual that you went the extra mile to help
318
808 reads
MORE LIKE THIS
The power of "I want to help"
If you tell someone to calm down, they will probably not calm down.
Instead, validate the person's feelings and assure them you understand. Saying, "I can see you are upset, and I want to help," will go further to calm them.
If you want to disagree, do it right
If it is essential that if you have to disagree with a chronic complainer, you can ask this simple question: "Do you want my opinion?"
The complainer then has to give you permission to share a different perspective, but don't try to convince them. Say "I hear what you'...
'I Don’t Want to Speak Yet'
Although it is scary and hard, immersive practice is by far the most effective. When the person you're speaking with sees that you don't understand, they will automatically try to simplify what they communicate.
If you don't want to speak yet, you can also try reading or watching movies, u...
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